The (Un) Secret Shopper

(The Unsecret Shopper is on vacation this week and will be back Monday, August 2nd. Meantime, enjoy his favorite Unsecret Shopper posts from the past seven months.)

Date post was posted: February 18, 2010

What I like about it: It launched The Unsecret Shopper

What I learned after writing it: What goes up…

If you like this post, you’ll love: Toyoda Vs. Mark Rogers Vs. Tiger: APOLOGY SMACKDOWN 2010!

(To see the original post with reader comments, click this sentence.)

 

Hello shoppers…  

When Toyota suggested to customers that floor mats were to blame for their stuck accelerators (like when the nurse at the Post Office where my mother slung 80 pound mail bags for 12 years, suggested that mom’s chronic back aches were due to her wearing her bra too tight) you had to figure it would be the worst customer service story of the year. But hang on, cowboy – here’s one that beats Toyota, hands down (to the emergency brake but it doesn’t work either) 

On Monday, a group of eight teachers was having lunch at Legends, a popular restaurant in downtown Des Moines. This was a familiar sight that day – the entire Des Moines Public School system was holding a teacher’s in-service at the downtown Convention Center and local restaurants were swamped. Considering the sluggish economy and the overall downturn in restaurant business, you’d think this would have been a welcome sight for all the downtown restaurant owners. 

All, apparently, except one. 

One of the teachers noticed a hair in her salad. It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but instead of laughing, the teacher, reasonably enough, mentioned it to the group’s server, who, unreasonably enough, responded with “It is not my fault. I didn’t put it there.” 

 

Now in your typical run of the mill customer service fiasco, the teacher retorts, the server stomps off, the teachers walk out, their tables are bussed, the next customers sit down and order, one of them is given the salad with the hair but doesn’t notice and the incident is over and forgotten. But not today. 

Seeing a teachable moment, one of the teachers in the group asked another server to see the manager who, using a level of tact similar to the original server, barked at the group to wait while she summoned the owner from the back. 

At this point I want to quote from a first person account of the story written by a teacher who was there: 

“ Several minutes later, an angry man came out and introduced himself as the owner. He repeatedly stated that he was understaffed that day and that was why our service was so poor. Each time we attempted to refocus on our server’s response to the hair, he would reply that the entire staff was stressed out because “all of these teachers keep showing up unannounced to eat”.  

Ahh – so at least we now know who trained the original server and the manager! 

“We told him that our concern was not with the speed of service, but with the response of his server when we told her there was a hair in the salad.  From approximately 5 inches from my face, he yelled, “Let me ask you something! Did she charge you for it?”   

I would have said, “No silly – extra hair is on the house here at Legends. Don’t you know your own policy?“  

Instead she “…told him that we were not charged for it, but the server’s response was inappropriate. He angrily said he did not see what the problem was. He said if “anyone” lets him know of the Des Moines Public Schools in service next year he will be ready for us. We told him that would not be necessary for us, because we would not be coming back.”

The owner in question is Mark Rodgers, who I have had the pleasure of meeting on several occasions – I say “a pleasure” in part because most of those occasions were a couple years ago and not Monday. I’d sent secret shoppers into Mark’s restaurants back then and gotten some less than stellar feedback, which I shared with him. He was concerned but nothing ever came of it. What I recall most about Mark is that he was a nice guy and a bit egocentric but not someone who would completely lose his marbles. 

Like he did Monday.

“At that point he yelled, “Good! Get out! GET OUT! I don’t want any teachers here!” As we were [leaving] we turned to look back and he was standing in the entrance to his kitchen waving. He then yelled, “Get out teachers! We don’t want you here! Go unionize!” Again, we were stunned at his bizarre behavior. Someone in the group said, “Seriously?” He replied by waving his arms in swooping arcs above his head, wildly gyrating his hips in an obscene manner, and yelling, “Hasta luego teachers! Hasta luego! GET OUT!”   

It’s unfortunate that none of the teachers taught Spanish.

Then they all walked out and that’s the end. Except this is where the story really gets started.  

 

In the movie Psycho, Anthony Hopkins tells Janet Lee that “we all go a little mad sometimes.” Back in those days it was easier to go mad – shout at a customer, chop up a motel guest – because consumers’ only recourse was to tell friends about it or maybe write a letter to the newspaper editor.  Today, with Al Gore’s internet, shoppers have the biggest megaphone in the world to yell and complain into and owners have NO cover – if you own a business and you tick off customers, you’re in deep doo-doo. 

 

And so one of the teachers wrote an account of this unbelievable experience and sent an email blast to her friends who forwarded it to their friends who forwarded and Facebooked and Twittered and IM’d and texted it to their friends, one of whom was a reporter for a local TV station, where the story was transformed from viral legend to hard news.  And now everyone knows, while Mark profusely apologizes on camera and wants to make things right – three days late and how many thousands of dollars in lost revenue short. But hey, don’t blame me - I secret shopped Mark a year and a half ago and told him he had major customer service issues. But did he listen? Noooooo. 

And now things have really gotten hairy. 

  

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday mornings 8-9am, on 1350, KRNT.   

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Facebook page

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Twitter page

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s blog

Click to email Jonnie (jonnie@theunsecretshopper.com)

Phone: 515-480-4190 

 

(The Unsecret Shopper is on vacation this week and will be back Monday, August 2nd. Meantime, enjoy his favorite Unsecret Shopper posts from the past seven months.)

Date post was posted: May 6, 2010

What I like about it: That I was (W)right

What I learned after writing it: Why bulls hate the color red

If you like this post, you’ll love: Target Off-Target On Corporate Reaction To Secret Shopper Review

(To see the original post with reader comments, click this sentence.)

Hello shoppers…

During a February 22nd, 2010 company conference call, Gregg Steinhafel, Charman, CEO and President of Target stores, was asked to react to a just-released consumer confidence report, which had unexpectedly dropped.

“I think we’re going to be in the kind

of environment where there is going

to be a lot of mixed signals. I think

we’re going to see two steps forward,

one step back. We’re going to see

results that we really like, and then

I think we’re going to see a slight

pullback.”

The environment Gregg was really talking about (and I think he knew it) was inside his East Army Post road store – since he’s pretty much described the Secret Shopper experience you’re about to thumb through.

How did Gregg know it, 43 days ahead of time? I’m clue-free – the guy made $1,549,023 since you started reading this. He can afford to have scientists build him a dog that’s twice as tall as he is (see pic) so a future-predicting machine probably came with the cement-mixer-sized bull terrier.

Either way, he was right on target.

Let me rephrase that – he was kinda sorta accurate about my first Secret Shopper trip through the store, in the morning. The second trip that afternoon? It’s unlikely Mr. Steinhafel uses that sort of language in public.

One thing you need to know about this Target location, up-front – there was no music playing in the overhead PA system. I’m not even sure the store has a PA system – unless PA stands for “Pathetically Absent.”

Let ole Jonnie tell ya what that lack of toe-tapping tuneage, does to the consumer experience inside a 100,000 square foot retail cave:

1. Any sound travels – which means customers can hear every employee to employee conversation, and that’s bad, especially when you’re dealing with a generally low wage-earning workforce, predominantly in their 20′s and early 30′s.

2. Any sound travels – which means customers can hear every customer to customer conversation, and that’s bad, especially when you’re dealing with patrons who have varying ideas of what’s appropriate to say in public, and what’s not.

3. Any sound travels – which means customers can hear every employee’s tossed hanger,  slammed down box and moving of displays, which might sound normal when surrounded by other sounds, but sounds like grenades going off inside a gymnasium full of matching separates, Fergie CD’s and health and beauty aids.

4. Any sound travels – which means customers can hear every radio call that comes over every employee’s two-way in-store walkie-talkie (used in Target) and some of those conversations are like #2 – the number above, and what you thought I meant.

Target, like most big-box stores,  has high ceilings, tile floors and looong aisles, all of which act like an echo chamber. Which means you’re going to read about multiple examples of 1-4, in the following review.

One last long, belaboring point about playing music inside retail settings.

When it comes to the places where we shop, consume and do our retail thing, we want, need and crave music, period.

Silence is for libraries, and I don’t see anybody uploading the back label text from a box of Tide, onto their Kindle. Sound stimulates our endorphins, and research shows that excited endorphins spend 87% more than ‘dorphs just lying around till Noon like your kids do on the weekends.

The proof of the above will be shown throughout this review. As will my ability to change clothes…

Jonathan                      Jonnie

…as it’s the usual ”Jonathan/Jonnie, dressed up/dressed down” thing, with two Secret Shopping trips to Target on 1111 East Army Post Road, adjacent to The Southridge Mall, both on the same day - early morning and late afternoon.

The store will be graded on the staff greeting, and staff interaction of each visit, and the combined overall, using the following scoring system:

Horrific – a customer service nuclear bomb that’s every owner’s worst nightmare. The kind of service you call your friends to complain about.

Weak - a lot of work to be done, but there’s hope.

Forgettable – not great, not bad. This is where most businesses end up.

Strong - some very good things are going on. Just needs some tweaking.

Stellar - first-rate, exceptional, off the hizzle. The kind of exemplary service you call your friends to brag about.

Thoreau wrote, almost certainly in a memo:

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation, and go to the grave with the song still in them.”

What’s rarely quoted is what he wrote after that:

“So for the love of Pete, somebody crank up the tunes!”

I pulled into the Target lot at 8:52am.

I slid out of the car, enjoying the Wednesday morning sun-kissed jaunt to the store’s front door, with the accompaniment of happy birds, happy cars, happy planes, happy construction workers hammering happily, filling my senses, as John Denver sang, like a night in the forest.

With a smile on my puss and the song of the outdoors in my heart, I stepped through the auto-open doors…and into the machine-filtered air of a retail mausoleum.

Can the inside of any store, compare with what God built? No, never. But a retailer can certainly minimize the difference, by elevating the experience inside, and that, in part, means music. Otherwise, that Target store, which is the oldest of the four locations in Des Moines, feels even older than it is.

You’re going to find out why there is no music inside Target in just a moment, from the mouth of an employee.

First though, since Target, like many big-box stores (but not all) has no designated greeter, that task would be left to the first employee I came upon, who would say something to me.

After walking straight from the doors down, passing women’s apparel and jewelry, hanging a right at men’s apparel and wandering around for 10 minutes, past two groups of employees too busy chatting with each other to chat with me, I found my greeter in Sporting Goods – Virginia, who said “Hello” as soon as she saw me.

She also shared that she was from the Iowa Falls area and a few other pleasantries, then sent me off with a very nice “Have a nice day.”

The greeting be done. Let the shopping begin.

Staff greeting/Jonnie:

You may have noticed a complete absence of masks – in an area normally associated with them.

That’s because there was a complete absence of greeting – in a setting - a store – normally associated with them.

Yep. 5:16pm – seven hours and six pence since I’d left that morning – I re-entered, dressed like any middle-aged man with no sense of fashion. I might as well have been dressed like a puff of smoke.

The first time I was greeted was by Blaine, at the checkout counter – 55 minutes after I came into the store.

Wait til you hear what happened – coming up, in “Staff interaction/Jonnie.”

Staff interaction/Jonathan:

Kathy in patio furniture would blow the lid off why the only sound shoppers could hear inside Target, was the “whirrrr” of air conditioning vents at work, and the “click-clack” and “schlip-schlop” of their own shoes against the nicely polished floor.

After she asked me, closed-endedly but friendly-edly, “Help you find anything?” I asked, “Isn’t it really weird quiet in here?”

“Yeah,” she replied, “They leave the music on til 8 o’clock in the morning, then they turn it off – they think it bothers the guests.”

My mouth dropped – they could hear my jaw hit the floor, up in stationary.

In other words, I said, the employees get to rock out til the doors open, then the place goes quiet as a church mouse, and probably all because they had Rosemary Clooney beltin ”Come On A My House” a tad loud on 1 day for 1 patron out of 1,000, and management over-reacted, like Van Halen had played live in the parking lot and they’d shattered window glass over at Petco?

Affirmative, she nodded – not to that question but to one much shorter but less amusing.

To quote Bugs Bunny, it just don’t add up, Doc.

Be(elmer)fuddled, I moved on to the movies/music/home entertainment section, where the loud TV audio was welcome, and where the store’s merchandise and staff stopped appearing like a weird, colorized version of a Charlie Chaplin flick – finally, some audio!

The silent treatment continued, however, in the form of Janice, who managed to ignore me as I spent four minutes searching for a CD, within arm’s reach of where she was stocking merchandise.

Dalia in DVD’s was different. She was the first employee to really bring a shine – lots of volume, passion and joy, as she greeted me with a wonderful smile and “Can I help you find anything?” Sure, wrong type of question, but right type of energy, plus wonderfully engaging as she recommended some titles that my non-existent nine year-old daughter would like. Great smile, Dalia!

Donna, also working in the DVD aisle and standing closer to me than Dalia, dropped the “hello” ball, which she should have said to me, even though Dalia had helped me, then moved on.

In retail, it takes a village – a loud village, full of verbal villagers.

In the bath section, I met the first superstar – Dawn. “Are you finding everything okay?” wasn’t a super open, but everything after that, was – friendly, great smile, very engaging – she seemed to truly want to help me.

The good vibes would come a crumblin down as I moved a few aisles away and heard someone loudly tossing things around – it turned out to be Nancy, “adjusting” an end display.

Right then I heard happy, sweet Dawn call out, “I need some help” from where I’d left her – to her obviously perturbed co-worker, who bluntly replied, “I’ll be there in a minute,” then threw something aside.

After a few minutes, Nancy walked over to Dawn and I moved to where Nancy had been working. The end display was wire rungs, from which inexpensive framed sayings dangled, designed to be hung on a wall.

One still moved slightly, from having Nancy “adjust” it.  I kid you not – it read, “The time to be happy is now…HAPPINESS.”

I stifled a guffaw – especially when I read the one beside it: “Laughter is life’s best medicine…LAUGH.”

I quickly moved on before I ended up spotting one dealing with irony.

Unfortunately, I could also hear Dawn’s end of their conversation, and it was in “complaint” mode.

“There’s nothing in the back room for this,” “There’s nothing in the back room for this,” etc. I’m a patron – all I care about is what’s in the front room.

And before you call me Radar Ears, I was 30 feet straight away and could still here her, plain as the extensive nose at the end of my head – an argument for overhead music, and better training, which we’ll get to in ”Overall.”

It was time to actually get something to buy - the lucky product going home with The Unsecret Shopper was Crest, although the only way you could get the regular paste was to purchase two huge wrapped - together 6.4 ounce tubes, which means gingivitis will be kept at bay, with this one store visit, through 2017.

As I walked down the main aisle at the back end of the cash registers, Jeff nicely said, “Careful of the cord,” with a smile, as I stepped over one stretched across the floor.

A group of workers who never smiled but cleaned like nobody’s business, were wearing blue shirts with “Eurest Services Cleaning Crew” on the back.

They were doing a terrific job in keeping the area tidy – and while a man with a broom or a bottle of 409 in his hand is required by law to always look miserable, a smiley directive from store management would combine seemingly unrelated elements – “male,” “cleaning,” and ”happy,” into one Eurest cleaning superstar.

I did another lap around the store – and found Carolyn, who smiled and greeted me with a regretfully closed-ended but decidedly kind, “Hi! Can I help you find something?” then sent me on my way with a very classy “Enjoy the day.”

In women’s apparel, Marsha echoed Carolyn – “Can I help you find something?” Again, nice smile, very engaging, just not as strong a question as an open-ended, “What can I help you find?”

Up ahead of me, Cherub and Nancy, the “angry adjuster,” met up and killed the happy vibe.

It started with Cherub, standing in menswear, literally yelling out to Nancy, as she began to walk away, “I don’t like working in spring.”

I’ll give you $10 million if you can guess how the Angry Adjuster replied!

Yep – you win! Please call Gregg Steinhafel to claim your winnings!

Nancy saw Cherub’s spring and raised her a few seasons…

“I don’t like working in spring, or summer, or anytime. I don’t like working period,” she shouted back.

And have a pleasant day, Target shoppers!

Obviously, employees can’t go around spraying their anger like a disgruntled skunk, not on the showroom floor. What that does to the morale of everyone – customers and employees alike – is devastating.

Josh and Pedro were having a less counter-retail conversation as I came upon them in the dog and cat food, yet I felt as if I’d interrupted them when Josh, startled by my sudden appearance, sorta jumped, and said, “Can I help you?”

Yeah – can you guys go chill Nancy out?

Lee was next, and a bit too chilled out, as she hung merchandise within 10 feet of where I looked at and handled stuff without saying boo. But after three trips from her cart to the rack and back to her cart, I moved a foot closer and she finally let out a smiling, friendly, “Good morning.”

Head on a swivel – engage, engage, engage.

An aside here.

As stated earlier, each Target employee is equipped with a two-way in-store walkie-talkie, which constantly crackles with communication between staff, kinda like a retail police scanner. Another thing you’ll hear is an automated voice, which is part of an automated “help” system of phones, scattered throughout the store.

The idea is that you, as a customer with a question, can pick up a phone at these customer service kiosks, say a cue at the prompt and within 60 seconds, have a staffer in front of you, ready to assist.

When a phone is picked up, an automated voice goes out over the walkie-talkies: “A customer request has been made in Seasonal,” or “Nit-picky Unsecret Shopper in greeting cards.” I suspect that the employee working in the area closest to that one, is trained to then walk over and help – or perhaps there’s an assigned rover of some kind. Either way it’s a clever idea. You’ll read about my experience with it, in the afternoon session.

Another observation – the left side of the store – that is, sportswear, hosiery, jewelry, maternity, plus sizes – appears to be consistently less staffed than sections on the right – home entertainment, music/movies, toys, sporting goods. It seemed that way in both Secret Shopping sessions.

Is it because there is more foot traffic in those areas, or because they think female shoppers are more self-reliant? Or have I just gone bonkers from the quiet? I could be off like a cheap clock about the whole perception, but it is an interesting part of the overall store set-up.

On my way to the check-out counter I came upon the threesome of Jeff The Cord Guy, Nancy The Angry Adjuster and an unknown guy without a nickname, standing together off to the side of the aisle, chatting away, with Jeff sipping from a styrofoam cup.

There’s nothing wrong with three employees standing, chatting, drinking and “leaning on shovels,” – if they work for the DOT.

But in retail, it’s Show Business – if employees are on the floor, then they’re in the public eye and on-stage and that means they don’t stand around and chit-chat with co-workers.  Not when you’re a company that’s so concerned about having enough warm bodies to cover your retail space, that you install automated paging phones for patrons.

Just a thought.

Nancy – a different one – checked me out at the checkout counter, greeting me with a nice “Hi, how are you?” although it would have been 1,000 times more powerful with a smile thrown in. She did manage a small grin and a “Thank you, have a nice day,” which was nice.

And with that, I walked from the counter, towards the exit, through the auto-opening doors and away from the cloying retail silence – into the synapse-snapping noise and energy of the outdoors.

My ears opened their doors and welcomed in their old friend – sound.

That was a wrap – trip #1 was in the books. How would Jonnie fare in Trip #2?

Staff Interaction/Jonnie:

It is not my desire to embarrass or humiliate people.

But spending nearly an hour walking around inside a Target, and never once, not once, receiving a “Hi,” “How are you?” or even a “You suck” from a staff member, is embarrassing – for me as a professional Secret Shopper, and for the hard-working employees and managers of Target on East Army Post Road.

The first employee I came in contact with, was Katie, in Jewelry.

While I stood at the counter for seven minutes and looked at, held up and checked out watches, Katie, never more than 10 feet away from me and sometimes as close as three, completely ignored me – while she, too, looked at watches and merchandise at the counter, worried around the stuff without worrying about the customer buying the stuff.

That can’t happen. And it would happen again.

Over in menswear, I put a black belt that would be my purchase, into the shopping basket, and continued browsing. Doug, who was in a hurry and didn’t see me as he came around the corner, gave me a polite “Excuse me” as he kept on walking, but nothing else. No problem.

Yet that would literally be the only time an employee engaged me first.

Continuing to look at men’s clothing and specifically at an end display of Jerzee Long Sleeved Cotton T’s, I saw Macy out of the corner of my eye - who could see me and did see me from her vantage point at the entry-way to the fitting rooms, yet didn’t greet me for the four and a half minutes I stood, without moving, browsing those shirts, until I had the micro fiber content and city of manufacture from the label, memorized.

One thing to the defense of all the employees working the floor at that time – I counted less than a dozen of them, not including the cashiers. To say that store was slightly under-staffed by management is to say that Manhattan was slightly under-priced by the Indians. ($24 in beads and blankets for the whole thing? Done!)

Yet that means it’s that much more important for the staff that is on the floor, to greet and engage every customer they see.

The Answer Phone to the rescue!

These are the automated help phones that are located throughout the store. Beside them is written, “Can’t find it? Can’t lift it? Just pick up the phone for help.”

I stood in the toy department, searching for a black mask for my still non-existent nine year-old daughter, so she could pretend she was a big mean Unsecret Shopper, just like her daddy!

I picked up the receiver – would they beat the 60-second promise? Would I be greeted with an insane, closed-ended question?

Within 42 seconds, Jon (cool name) showed up – and asked the question an employee can’t ask, after a customer has specifically requested help because they need help, using a help phone.

“Can I help you find anything?”

Well…I was looking for a help phone, so I could call for help and get someone who could help. Could you help me find one?

Jon, you’ve just set back the cool spelling of our name, 1,000 years.

Doug, the “excuse me” guy, apparently thought I’d used up my greeting chits, waltzing past me without a peep as I stood, staring at flat screen TV’s.

I would pace in front of 24 televisions for 22 minutes, watching a Target ad over and over, without being helped, assisted, greeted or moved because somebody thought I was a display.

I did a second lap around the inside of the store - and came upon Katie again, where I’d left her, in front of the watches display.

I’d give her another chance. I went right back to the same place I’d stood for seven minutes, and stood again, for another five minutes – still, not a word from her lips.

Enough fun – I was getting ready to move on, but Katie walked first, slipping past me and literally brushing the basket I was carrying, with her hand. No big deal – any of us would utter a quick apology and move on.

Think she said, ”Excuse me,” “Whoops, sorry!” or “That belt won’t be nearly big enough for you.”? Nope. Silence.

That can’t happen, part II.

I next spent 13 minutes browsing bicycles and being ignored by Doug, again, who moved in and out of the area.

Meanwhile, a couple browsing toys in an aisle across from me, had the following conversation, easily heard.

Her: Oh that price is too high.

Him: I’d rather go to Toys R’ Us than buy that piece of crap.

Sure you don’t wanna play music, Target?

Onto the magazine aisle I went, where Teresa – who works for a magazine distribution company and doesn’t work for Target but acts like she belongs with the afternoon crew – completely ignored me as I stared at the magazines she was putting on the shelf, literally reaching around me to do so.

It was time to blow this non-responsive taco stand.

I moved on to the checkout counter – where Audrey, who had walked across from Customer Service, held up a piece of merchandise and loudly uttered an un-customer-service-like thing, to a cashier.

“So this isn’t any good, or what?”

After apparently not receiving a response to her liking, Audrey angrily tossed said item into a cart, and rolled away.

Joy! Joy! Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy!

Which brings us back to Blaine.

“Hi, how are you?” he smiled as I put my probably-too-small belt on the counter.

I’ve been better, son. Like, when I ran head first through a glass door in pre-school.

Blaine said thank you, asked me to have a nice day and, taking 7 VERY fast steps towards the door, I walked out – and began to sprint towards my Prius.

I needed a drink. A lot of drinks. And I don’t drink.

Overall:

3/4

Where to start.

The employees who did their job – that is, greeted, engaged and smiled on some level - like Virgina, Blaine, Kathy, Dalia, Dawn and Carolyn, were standouts. Lose the closed-ended questions, and you have the chance to be retail rock stars.

As for all the employees and the overall store - The 800 pound problem gorilla in the (quiet) corner of Target’s room is really three gorillas, rolled into one angry conservative talk show host:

1. Get music playing in the store

2. Get better customer service training for your employees

3. Get more employees working the afternoon shift

The music is a quick fix that can provide cover while management and employees work on solving other issues – those will require time, training and tenderness.

Employee anger, vented openly, should be addressed immediately.

Listening to an employee complain about work is akin to visiting Duane Ellett and Floppy on their WHO TV-13 set as a kid, starting to tell the felt puppet, the “Why’d the man put the car in the oven” gag, and having Floppy suddenly attack you, with a mouth full of rusty nails.

It doesn’t hurt our joy of shopping - it obliterates it.

The under-staffing issue is a chronic one for stores of Target’s size. Yet managers can’t simply allow customers to wander around in section after section, without seeing a red Target employee shirt – which was frequently the case on my afternoon Secret Shopper visit.

Ultimately, none of these are expensive remedies. All would pay immediate dividends. Music on the PA, especially, can mask sooo many of those employee “man behind the curtain” moments, when all you want customers to see and hear is The Wizard.

In fact, just think – if music really does have charms to soothe the savage beast, then a Rosemary Clooney ditty or two, can probably chill certain employees right out.

Seems right on target, no?

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday mornings 8-9am, on 1350, KRNT.

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Facebook page

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Twitter page

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s blog

Click to email Jonnie (jonnie@theunsecretshopper.com)

Phone: 515-480-4190

(The Unsecret Shopper is on vacation this week and will be back Monday, August 2nd. Meantime, enjoy his favorite Unsecret Shopper posts from the past seven months.)

Date post was posted: April 3, 2010

What I like about it: It presented the simple story of a beautiful young man, who became a hero.

What I learned after writing it: That there really are angels among us

If you like this post, you’ll love:  A Death In the Family: Emmie, Dr. Bolser And The Power Of Customer Service

(To see the original post with reader comments, click this sentence.)

Hello shoppers…

Our attitude about shopping – for stuff, for services, for needs, for wants, for fun, for drain cleaner - is influenced in part by our customer service experiences, which we unconsciously lay end to end, sew together with stitches of time and hold up to our face, to determine if the subsequent quilt suggests it would be fun to go to the mall, or just be happy with the pants we’ve got, thank you.

While most of our experiences in the retail and service world are average and unmemorable - with some falling to bad, some rising to good – there are, on those precious few occasions, the great.

This is one of those. More accurately, this is a customer service story about a great man.

The basics; His name is John Wier. He is 21, graduated Urbandale High School, lives with his parents, likes Beethoven and Linkin Park, is employed at the Walnut Creek YMCA, picks up towels, washes handrails and joyfully greets Y patron after Y patron with an unabashed level of selflessness that’s like watching Mother Teresa tend to lepers. And I’m one of the lepers because I’m also a member.

The un-basic: John is autistic.

I’ll get to that in a moment.

I first became aware of John about six months ago as I stood naked in the men’s locker room at the Walnut Creek Y, minding my own naked business.

“What did you work out on today?”

I turned around, startled by the voice behind me.

Standing there was a young man, wearing glasses and an official Y shirt and badge, hands on a towel cart, smile on his face, patiently waiting for my answer to a completely reasonable question that made me feel unreasonably uneasy. To paraphrase Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid: Who was this guy?

“I haven’t worked out yet.”

“So – so what are you going to work out on today?’

“I think I’m going to do aerobics. “

“So you’re going to do aerobics? What kind of aerobics, treadmill or elliptical or what?”

“I think I’ll do the elliptical.”

“Elliptical? Neat.”

And away he neatly went – rolling off to another aisle of the locker room to ask other half-clad dudes the same questions in the same way while he picked up discarded towels, until he’d run out of towels and middle-aged overweight men to engage – at which point he rolled out of the room, humming to himself as he happily pushed his dirty towel cart down the hallway.

Who was this guy?

Whoa. I immediately knew that John was a better man than I was. I’d be far too self-conscious to turn to a fellow locker room occupant and ask him “What’s up?” And I’d tell people to pick up their own wet, filthy, disgusting towels, were they born in a barn?

There were other things that set John apart – an unusual cadence to his speech, a very direct, persistently inquisitive manner and most amazing, an apparent absence of walls and self-awareness. John just really didn’t seem to care about what you might think of him because he was far too busy caring about you - he was going to be nice to you and engage you and if you didn’t like it, that was your wet towel.

I liked John right away. He was the living, breathing embodiment of the perfect customer service provider – he could have taught one of my classes.

Yet he appeared to be - autistic? How could that be? Was there a connection between his autism and his outgoing ways? Weren’t autistics supposed to be more walled off, more shy?

I wanted, needed, to find out more about him.

Fully clothed, I visited with Sue Johnson, executive director of the Walnut Creek Y. Yes, she said, John had a mild form of autism and asperger’s disease, autism’s next door neighbor.

Wow. Jaw-dropping Thomas Edison just discovered electricity wow.

My image – perhaps yours – of an autistic person was, up to that point, of someone barely able to function in our “normal” world, a perception framed in part by popular media – Rainman and Forest Gump and What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.

I need to cancel my Blockbuster membership. I also wanted to find out more about autism, before I reached out to John.

I went to Steve Muller, (who has no connection with John) the executive director of The Homestead in Pleasant Hill, an agency which provides residential and vocational options for those with autism.

First, what is autism?

“It’s a neurobiological disorder that interferes with how people gather and organize their information,” Steve told me. “And that causes problems in communication and social skills.”

When I told Steve about John, he was impressed. “To have an [autistic] person who is succeeding, working at the YMCA, is a real special treat,” said Steve. “If they’re succeeding at building those social relationships, they’re overcoming significant challenges”

Could John’s autism actually make him better at customer service?

Steve hesitated. Autism ”impacts everyone uniquely,” he said. “People with autism normally have a very hard time understanding communication skills and structuring things in a way that makes sense to them.”

John had taken that template, wadded it up and tossed it into the dirty towel bin.

“It may make it easier for autistics to be direct in their communication,” said Steve. “Brutally honest may be easier.”

Yet there was nothing brutal about John’s forthrightness. It was surprising, yes - but once you got over the shock of actually being spoken to by another human being whom you didn’t know, you couldn’t help but begin to think that…well, that it was you who had the malady.

I needed to talk to this guy.

John was very open to sitting down and discussing his life, his experience at the Y and his autism.

“I started out as a volunteer in the fall of August 2008 (through Iowa Workforce Development) then was hired on in November,” he told me as we sat in the Y’s conference room, along with Sue Johnson. “Sue noticed my work and decided to hire me on.”

Sue smiled and jumped in. “Jonathan cane in and took pride in his work. He was a good team player, always wanted to work more, wasnt afraid to ask questions. You couldn’t have a bad day when John was working. He made everyone feel welcome.”

I asked John if he knew that he made other people feel good.

“I want to make other people feel good,” he said. “It’s all part of what I do here and part of customer service here.”

There are some things that John struggles with. “My typing skills are slow.” Join the club, kid. Working with guest passes can also throw John a bit.

Yet when it comes to engaging Y patrons, John is off the membership hizzle.

Had he always been so good?

“When I first started,” he said, “I don’t think I talked to customers as much. But after awhile I got better at it.”

John’s left better in his dust. Why is it important to greet people and ask them questions?

“It’s just to show a good work ethic and to show good customer service and to be professional. I always take people directly to what they’re looking for.”

I asked Sue if Jonathan was trained in these skills.

Her answer blew me away.

“I think he brought it in with him,” she said. “John knows from working at the front desk that it’s important to us, but I think it’s something John has always had. I don’t think it’s something that would be teachable to a lot of people. A lot of credit also goes to his parents and how they raised him.”

Is John ever afraid to go up and talk to patrons?

“At times I can be. If I see people horsing around in the hallways, rough-housing, then I’m a little afraid to say something.”

As are all of us, John. When a nine-year old is running backwards and dribbling a basketball on a treadmill, we should all just try to ignore him.

I asked John what most of us might consider a loaded question – does he like cleaning?

“I do, because I want to make sure that the Y stays clean, so people don’t get sick.” You’re hired. “When I pick something up in the men’s room I always ask, ‘Is this yours?’ before I pick it up.”

Sure. We do not want me and my fellow locker mates running around the facility, as is. Believe me.

I told John I could hear him humming while he works - what’s the song?

“I like the classical pieces by Beethoven and stuff like that. I’ll also sing a song by a band called Lincoln Park.” John hummed part of it for me, then went right into the easily recognizeable ”dah-du-dah-du-dah-du-dah-du dum” of Beethoven’s Fur Elise.

I could not stop smiling.

Then I got to the money question. What does John know about autism?

“I know one thing. There are like different forms. I have asperger’s, it’s a type of autism but more the high functioning type.” John described it as being able to verbalize, to talk clearly so that others could understand him.

What can’t you do, that someone without autism, can do?

“I can’t do math very well.

Get in line, kid.

Did John think he’d be as good at customer service, if he didn’t have autism?

“Yes, I would be a little bit better at least and I would try to implement more things. I’d probably be on the phone more.”

John will likely be on the phone quite a lot on April 18th, fielding congratulatory calls - he’ll be turning 22 that day, three days after tax day, when being bad at math no longer matters.

The Walnut Creek Y – at 11,500 members, it’s the largest in the Des Moines Association – will be having a birthday party that night for John.

Sue Johnson would prefer they honor twins.

“I wish I could clone John,” she said. “We pride ourselves on customer service – it sustains our membership. And John’s unique skills are a very important part of that.”

John is unique, in many ways. As someone with autism, he is one of the 1-2 out of a 1,000 people who has it, and one of 6 out of a 1,000 with an autism spectrum disease like asperger’s.

He is also unique among autistics – he is high functioning, engaging and outgoing.

Yet there is a third category that puts John in the most rarified air of all. He smiles at and engages everyone – even while being burdened with a disease that wants him to do the opposite.

That means he’s like an olympic pole vaulter being asked to jump over two walls simultaneously – the self-protection walls of fear and mistrust of strangers we all have as human beings – unless you’re from Turkey, where they kiss and hug everybody. And the anti-social walls common among austics, which drive many to lives of isolation.

When I put John’s world against our own, I begin to understand that it’s us who are living a burdened life, not him. We are stuck behind walls we’ve built to protect ourselves from being hurt, while John floats over his on angel’s wings, accompanied by the soft, soothing strains of Fur Elise.

Those of us who remain tethered to the ground, can only look up, watch, listen and smile – but no longer wonder, who is this guy?

Now, we know.

Note: The Homestead is also celebrating a birthday, with their upcoming 15th anniversary party in May. To find out more about The Homestead and the services they provide, contact Steve Muller at 515-967-4369.

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday mornings 8-9am, on 1350, KRNT.

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Facebook page

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Click to email Jonnie (jonnie@theunsecretshopper.com)

Phone: 515-480-4190

(The Unsecret Shopper is on vacation this week and will be back Monday, August 2nd. Meantime, enjoy his favorite Unsecret Shopper posts from the past seven months.)

Date post was posted: April 22, 2010

What I like about it: It really blew the lid off of young, wooden, ambivalent mall employees

What I learned after writing it: That I’m quickly running out of places to safely shop

If you like this post, you’ll love: The Unsecret Shopper Goes Shopping: raTget

(To see the original post with reader comments, click this sentence.)

 

Hello shoppers…

Here’s what I know about malls:

1. A movie about zombies was shot in one.

2. A brand of cigarettes is kinda named after one. (Before you scratch your head, Google it and get mad and yell at me – Pall Mall)

3. Jimmy Hoffa may be buried under one.

4. I just spent a lot of baaaaad time in one – time I will never ever ever be able to get back, plus I now have this really weird twitch in my left eye.

 

I just put a patch over it. And a parrot on my shoulder. We’re good.

Bottom line – after what I just went through, all I am hoping – to quote Maximus addressing the arena minions in Gladiator - is, “Are you not entertained?!”

There is nothing entertaining about being greeted with 26 closed-ended questions.

Nor is it terribly fun to wander around the relatively small square-footage of dozens of the retail stores at Jordan Creek and be – no other word to describe it – ignored.

In the end I managed to Secret Shop 28 stores in four hours until, like Scarlett in Gone With The Wind,  I put my hand to my forehead, yelled “Pa!” and collapsed from vapor lock - there’s only so much weedin I can do at Tara, before Mammy’s gotta drag me to the parlor.

 

Let me drag you along as I recreate the day’s fun-filled unfunness.

There are 196 stores listed on the Jordan Creek mall map outside the main entrance by the Century Theaters, which is where I counted, and where I entered, to start this MOD. (Mission Of Doom)

I bypassed the food court and all restaurants. There will also be no reviews of hair salons (I hardly have any) book stores (I hardly read any) large anchor stores, (They’ll get their own specific evaluations in later posts) jewelry stores (They’ll get a collective comparison, next Valentine’s Day) and kiosks (They won’t get anything because they scare me.)

What’s left? One of the most harrowing four-hour periods in the history of Secret Shopping. What else is left is about another 66 stores – which shal be covered in a later post, Secret Shopping Jordan Creek Mall II: Why People Take Antidepressants.

Don’t cry for me, Jordantina. No one put a gun to my head and made me do this. I’m Italian – that’s not how we operate.

Capisci?

You’ll read the evaluations in the order I shopped the stores. Each review will include the name of the store, the greeting I was given, how long it took to get it, who gave it and marginally sarcastic commentary.

  

First, here’s what you might already know, but just in case – the Secret Shopper rating system:

 

   Horrific – a customer service nuclear bomb that’s every owner’s worst nightmare. The kind of service you call your friends to complain about.   

   Weak - a lot of work to be done, but there’s hope.   

   Forgettable – not great, not bad. This is where most businesses end up.   

   Strong - some very good things are going on. Just needs some tweaking.   

   Stellar - first-rate, exceptional, off the hizzle. The kind of exemplary service you call your friends to brag about.   

   

The store reviews will be quick thumb-nail sketches, broken down by “Time untill greeted,” “Greeting,” “Greeter,” and “Commentary.”

While the majority of the experiences will not make the store owners smile (although most don’t live around here and so may have other things to frown about) a few were good, and one, extraordinary.

There is also one experience which ranks among my five all-time worst. And I’ve been to a Dress Barn – twice. You’ll notice this review because it’s the last one – where it belongs, and won’t hurt anyone.

Thus I entered Jordan Creek Mall at the theater entrance, hung a left, walked past the food joints and went into the first non-eatery I saw – which is where we begin.

 

Store: Delio’s – women’s clothing

  1/2

Time until greeted: 30 seconds

Greeting: “Hi, how are you? Are you shopping for anything?”

Greeter: Steffani

Comments: When Steff hit me after only 30 seconds with a huge smile and a big fat “Hi!” I thought, “Cool beans! The movie Mallrats was mularkey! This is all going to be so incredibly wonderful ponies and stickers and bubble-gum and Tigerbeat fabalicious!”

Her stinkalicious follow-up closed-ended question was like being tossed into a spinning dryer full of bricks.

Let’s just say that that part needs an itty bitty bit of work. Yet my guess is that Steff would be very trainable.

The music in the store was loud (a recurring theme) and gave the retail space, a great vibe. Overall, nice job.

We’re off to a good start. Yeaaaaaa this is fun! Bring on the next store!!!

 

Store: Vanity – women’s clothing

   

Time until greeted: 7 minutes

Greeting: “Are you being helped?”

Greeter: Sara

Comments: Just a quick tip on the dope rhyme to anyone who works in retail – never ever, under any circumstances, walk up to a human being in your store and say, “Have you been helped?” 

You might as well say, ”You really look lost! Then again, how would I know, because I’m the one who lost track of you, as did every other employee I suspect, otherwise, why would I ask you if you’ve been helped! But hey, we found you now, you little hider! So let’s sell you something and make me feel better!”

Prior to that “greeting,” I spent nearly 10 minutes wandering around Vanity, within 10 feet of Sara (who was engaging another customer but still should have acknowledged me) and an arm’s length away from Lexie, who was engaging a computer monitor at the front counter.

I walked back and forth in front of her a half-dozen times but no, whatever was on that screen was much more interesting than a stupid shopper – a stupid male shopper in an all-women’s clothing store, who is probably there to buy a woman he knows, something…just guessin!

As soon as Sara dropped the “have you been helped?” hammer on me, I immediately told her I was a secret shopper and wanted to talk to the owner – did she have that person’s contact info?

Sara – who is the store manager – not only didn’t know the owner’s full name (“It’s Jim something but that’s all I know.”) she also had no direct contact info for Jim Somebody, other than he was in California.

Thus began a pattern that would be repeated throughout the day – almost none of the stores have local ownership.

This may not be a surprise to you – but I’m stupid and need to start watching Entertainment Tonight, because this blew my mind.

So while Sara spent five minutes in the back, trying to track down a phone number for me to call, I stood with my elbows on the front counter – with Sara’s counterpart no more than three feet away, still in front of the computer screen and still moot. I felt like I was at the entrance to Buckingham Palace…  

I finally got a number for Vanity customer service – and a taste of what was to come.

 

Store: Wet Seal (Who thinks up these names?) – swimwear

   

Time until greeted: I’m still waiting

Greeting: see above

Greeter: see above above

Comments: T.J. and Melissa, the manager, were having a conversation about the pain-killers that Melissa was taking, that was far more interesting than any silly chit-chat they could possibly have with a little ole’ customer. 

When Melissa came over to a rack of clothes and began adjusting them, I strolled over and began adjusting those on the other side – hey, I wanna get in on the pain-killer meds convo!

I wasn’t worthy. Melissa kept rappin with T.J.

I finally broke the ice: Who is the owner.

T.J. reformed it: “It’s Ed something.” 

Wow – this Something family must be stinking rich!

Moving on to Something else…

 

Store: Forever 21 – women’s clothing

   

Time until greeted: never greeted

Greeting: never greeted

Greeter: never greeted

Comments: The store might be more aptly named, “Forever Nameless Employees who pretend you’re invisible.”

Not only wasn’t I greeted, but I discovered, that it is their actual store policy at Forever 21, according to Stephanie (who hesitantly gave me her name) that staff do not give their names.

Finally! A place to shop for people in the Witness Protection Program.

Instead of their name, each employee has a lanyard dangling around their neck, which lists that person’s title:  Manager, Co-manager, Assistant, Visual Associate, Head Cashier.

Dismissing the slight chance that these are, indeed, their actual names – isn’t the song lyric, “…where everybody knows your name.”? Besides employees? Couldn’t they just make up a fake name, if they were worried about their personal security – like strippers do?

After stripping it down, Forever Nameless Employees shall be better left anonymous.

 

Store: F.Y.E.-music store

   

Time until greeted: 2 minutes

Greeting: “Help you with anything?”

Greeter: Richard

Comments: After Jane Doe-Mart, Richard’s kind, relatively quick, closed-ended question greeting at F.Y.E. felt like a warm bath.

Kudos to Richard – he’s been working there for five years and never missed a day. Engaging, kind, loyal – a good story to report, and our first 3-masker. Whoo! Whoo!

 

Store: The Perfume Palace    

1/2   

Time until greeted: no greeting

Greeting: n/a

Greeter: n/o/p/e

Comments: In fairness to Depthi, the woman behind the counter, she obviously didn’t speak much English.

In unfairness to Depthi, it was really weird to look somebody straight in the eye from 4.31 feet away, and have them say nothing.

Finally I said, “Shouldn’t you be working at  Wet Seal?” Then I actually said, “hi.”

Depthi’s response was stranger than her silence. “Here – you try a new one.” Then she picked up a bottle of something and started spraying it on a piece of paper for perfume sampling – I’m assuming it was perfume – I’m assuming she worked there.

But considering I hadn’t told her what I was looking for – she just grabbed a jug and started firing – the whole thing smelled a bit.

 

Store: Things Remembered – gift boutique

   

Time until greeted: 30 seconds

Greeting: “Hi! What can I help you find?”

Greeter: Kathy

Comments: Our first open-ended question!

(confetti and balloons cascade down while orchestra plays “For She’s A Jolly Good Greeter.”)

Kathy, the manager at Things Remembered, gets it. Great greeting, great smile, great store.

One for one – we’re on a roll!

 

Store: The Yankee Candle Store

   

Time until greeted: 10 seconds

Greeting: “Anything I can help you find?”

Greeter: Mikelyn

Comments: Not the right greeting but definitely the right personality, Mikelyn the assistant manager was happy, helpful and thankful.

She told me about how much they emphasize customer service at Yankee Candle – how their process is to engage customers at the beginning, let them sniff around a bit, then go back to them after a few minutes, to see if they need help.

Textbook retail – and Mikelyn did it by the book, except for that greeting. A quick reminder and I suspect she’d have that down, too.

 

Store: The Body Shop – beauty products

   

Time until greeted: 30 seconds

Greeting: “Anything I can help you find?”

Greeter: Tiffany

Comments: Tiffany greeted me almost right away, and incorrectly – yet said it so fast that I literally had no earthly idea what she’d just said to me, no more than I could decipher her next two sentences, each of which I had to ask her to repeat. Her cadence would have put an auctioneer to shame.

Yet when she started to relax, she also slowed down and was extremely charming – and comprehendible.

 

Store: Aldo 

1/2   

Time until greeted: 5 minutes

Greeting: “Looking for something today?”

The response in my head: Yes – for you to stop talking to your friends over there, walk up to me sooner than after your conversation is fini, act like you care about me as a customer in your store, and start with a decent question, conducive to me wanting to spend money here, so you still have a job here by Fall.

Time to leave Alpo - and go find some Iams.

 

Store: Express – men’s and women’s clothing

   

Time until greeted: 30 seconds

Greeting: “How are you today?”

Greeter: Daniel

Comments: Daniel was a super-nice guy, who disappeared after his initial greeting. After browsing the store for 10 minutes, I purposefully found him again and he was just as nice as he’d been earlier.

The employee who wasn’t as outgoing – he didn’t say anything to me – was always visible.

In all fairness, that’s probably an under-staffed store for its square footage.

 

Store: The Buckle – men’s and women’s clothing

 1/2  

Time until greeted: 30 seconds

Greeting: “Hi, how’s it going?”

Greeter: Scott, initially, then Annie

Comments: Scott greeted me quickly, and Annie took over. She was very sweet, smiled and was engaging.

Annie’s issue was that she never asked me what I was looking for – she just started showing me stuff. (See The Perfume Store, six stores back.) Yes those are great looking stone-washed straight-legged jeans, and sure, they’re a steal at $49! But – what if, like, I came in to buy a shirt?

Ask first, then listen, then listen some more – and when the consumer is done yakking, then go to town. But not before.

 

Store: Jos. A Bank – men’s clothing 

   

Time until greeted: Five minutes

Greeting: “Anything special I might help you find?”

Greeter: Peter Sherinian

Comments: I have to admit to a personal curiosity about this store (my first time in) whose radio/TV ads I’d always felt were compelling – overly dramatic announcer + overly repetitive offer (“…and get the second suit for FREEE.”) + overly static still shots of supermodels wearing suits + weird way of shortening “Joseph” to “Jos” + name sounds like a place to cash checks, not a place to buy $400 pants = weird and compelling.

Pete sorta blew all of that up.

He had some help, agreed, from the young man working the store with him. But Pete, the assistant manager, is a middle-aged guy who has been working retail a long time – he should have acknowledged me one of the six times I walked past him, as he engaged another customer. There’s also the closed-ended question once he got to me, an obvious no-no for an experienced salesman who should know-know better.

Nice enough man. But when you’re an older gentleman who has forgotten more about sales than I’ll ever know, selling suits that cost one of my monthly Prius car payments, ya gotta do better than nice enough.

I’d definitely get beyond that at the next stop…

 

Store: Vitamin World

Time until greeted: 30 seconds

Greeting: “Hi! Welcome to Vitamin World! I’m Lisa!”

Greeter: Lisa

Comments: Holy Buyosphere Training! Speechless. And not in a Forever 21 way.

Lisa, the manager, delivered on every key element of the greeting that we teach in customer service training. She greeted with a “Hi” and a smile, extended a welcome, said the name of the store along with her own and was about to ask me mine when I interrupted her to thank her for being so awesome. That was by far the best experience of the day, and one of the best all year, period.

If you buy vitamins, buy them from Lisa. If you don’t buy vitamins, just go into the store and you’ll feel like you just took a happy pill. Great job, Lisa!

 

Store: Lane Bryant – women’s clothing

 1/2  

Time until greeted: 30 seconds

Greeting: “Help you find anything?”

Greeter: Sandy

Comments: Sandy was extremely friendly, and mentioned specials in that perfectly timed way that makes a shopper feel like the staffer is truly sharing the information for their benefit and not to meet some sales quota. Amy, a co-worker, was equally gregarious and sweet.

The only strike was the greeting. You’re in good company, Sandy. Now be exceptional and learn the importance of an open-ended salutation, and you’ll be a rock star.

 

Store: The Finish Line – men’s and women’s athletic shoes

   

Time until greeted: 14 minutes (by default)

Greeting: “Hi. What can I grab for you?”

Greeter: Katey (by way of Brad)

Comments: Partial credit for being greeted goes to Brad – not an employee, but a customer, who I engaged after 12 minutes of browsing, as there was nobody else to talk to. After mentioning this to Brad, he responded that he would go get someone to wait on us – an extremely kind gesture on his part.

There was no one within shoe-ting distance because Katey the store manager and another employee were in the back of the store, talking, laughing and thoroughly enjoying their shift – with each other, not customers.

When Katey did finally make it to where I was standing, her greeting was akin to what a carnival barker yells after you knock over three milk cartons with a ball toss. Atrocious.

Brad – who works for the railroad - gets my vote for “Finish Line Employee Of The Month.” 

 

Store: Smart Art -  art store

1/2   

Time until greeted: 10 seconds

Greeting: “Hello. How are you today?”

Greeter: Jeremy

Comments: I’m about to write something an employee said that is offensive, so please move onto the next review if you’d rather not read it.

While I browsed the artwork on the walls of Smart Art, an older couple entered the store. Jeremy, the store manager, and the gentleman began discussing the military. You got the feeling that this guy had once been in the armed services. He then made a comment about being unable “to get used to the idea of two men holding hands.”

Jeremy had a lot of choices in responses at that point. He chose this one:

“I wouldn’t want to take a shower with someone who is gay.”

A customer can say racist, sexist, bigoted things – but not the employee. And especially not the manager.

This is especially hard to report because Smart Art is locally owned, by Brian Hansen - one of the only locally owned stores in the entire mall. Yet whoever owns it, the point hardly has to be mentioned – that sort of talk, especially within easy earshot of a customer, is absolutely unacceptable.  

 

Store: Icing By Claire’s  

 1/2  

Time until greeted: two  minutes

Greeting: “Is there anything I can help you find?”

Greeter: Latisha

Comments: She stayed kinda stuck behind the counter, but when Latisha smiled, she lit up the room. Come on out onto the floor and don’t keep that incredible joy hidden back there. Customers want it and need it, Latisha. Especially if they’ve just been to…

 

Store: Journeys

1/2   

Time until greeted:

Greeting: “Hi.”/”How are you?”

Greeter: Evy

Comments: Evy the manager, along with Danielle, started out strong, with each offering a quick greeting. But after that, they ignored me – especially hard to do in what was the smallest retail space I visited, no bigger than a two bedroom apartment.

When I mentioned to them that I was secret shopping the store for a blog post, they clammed up even more - is there something more clammy than silence? Evy finished it off with a snotty “See ya” as I left – probably not in the Journeys’ Managerial Handbook, I’m guessing, any more than the gaggle-of-braying-elephants-decibled music, cranked up just as I entered the store.

 

Store: Pac Sun – women’s clothing

 1/2  

Time until greeted: 30 seconds

Greeting: “Anything I can help you find?”

Greeter: Melissa

Comments: Melissa, who has been in retail for 13 years, showed her chops. She was kind, engaging and smiled generously. The closed-ended question marred what was otherwise a very nice experience.

 

Store: Aerie By American Eagle – men’s and women’s clothing

   

Time until greeted: three minutes

Greeting: “Looking for anything?”

Greeter: Gwen

What I wanted to say: “Actually I’m looking for nothing, and not looking for anything. Have you not got it in my size?” 

Comments: That’s about as bad as it gets for store greetings – except for the greetings I’m still waiting for. Otherwise Gwen was friendly enough – yet nothing really makes up for saying something that suggests you don’t really give the south end of a north-bound rat.

  

Store: The Baby Gap – infant clothing

1/2   

Time until greeted: 15 minutes

Greeting: “Oh…I didn’t see you.” Then, “Anything I can help you find?”

Greeter: Kaye

Comments: “First, let’s establish that Sara the manager, and Kaye, were very friendly when they finally found me.

But just because it’s the Baby Gap, doesn’t mean I should feel like a two foot tall shopper, completely hidden from employees. In fact I walked back and forth and back and forth across an open entryway between Baby Gap clothes racks a dozen times, at least – someone should have seen me.

When someone did, the closed ended question made the delay in service, feel worse. A shopper doesn’t browse inside a retail setting for nearly 15 minutes because they’ve found what they want and don’t need help.

Adding insult to injury was the conversation taking place between Sara and Kaye – well, mainly Sara.

“I just want you to hear my talk my mind about this. You just need to listen to me…”

Oops. It kinda felt like when you’re a kid (Baby Gap, how apropos) and you stumble upon a really adult conversation your parents are having, and it creeps you out.

I felt pretty creeped out and pretty 10 years old.

But again, two great people who, I’m sure, won’t forget the five-minute discussion I had with them on exactly what I’ve shared with you.

  

Store: Bath And Body Works

   

Time until greeted: 20 seconds

Greeting: “Anything I can help you find?”

Greeter: She walked away too fast for me to find out

Comments: The greeting came quickly, the closed-ended question was delivered badly, and the fact that she delivered it while literally walking away from me and towards another customer, made it worsely.

They were under-staffed, admittedly. But there are better ways to handle that.

 

Store: Fossil – clothing

   

Time until greeted: two minutes

Greeting: “Anything I can help you find?”

Greeter: Jen

Comments: I hated to bother Jen, who seemed to be quietly engaged with her boyfriend and proved it by offering me something that felt more like “a commercial break in the action” of an NFL game than an actual retail greeting.

Then she quickly returned to the action.

 

Store: Aeropostale – clothing 

   

Time until greeted: 30 seconds

Greeting: “Hello. Shorts are on special…”

Greeter: Victoria

Comments: Victoria had a solution to the closed-ended question – forgoing all questions and launching into the pimping portion of her presentation.

Granted, $30 for shorts is an amazing offer, much more interesting than any ole thing I might have come in to the store to buy, plus you really have no idea as an employee, when you’re going to get the phone call from Corporate Aeropostle (which I can’t pronounce and don’t understand but sounds like aerodynamic clergy) telling you that shorts prices are immediately increased to $3,250.

Nothing wrong with being aggressive – and Victoria was quite pleasant about it. Just don’t forget to toss in something old-fashioned, like, “What can I help you with?”

  

Store: Hollister -  clothing – I think

   

Time until greeted: I wasn’t and never gave them a chance to

Greeting: I’m scared

Greeter: I do believe in spooks, I do, I do, I do believe in spooks…

Comments: Hollister is the most unique, freaky, scary, creepy store ever.

If Norman Bates opened a clothing store, it would be Hollister. You actually run the risk of hurting yourself, just by walking through the store – but it’s not a store. There’s displays where entryways are, so you have to walk around and through them, and most of the place is dark or dimly lit. Stuff is hard to see and the music is stupid-loud, and not of this world. It’s – just go visit there, if you’ve never been in. Don’t buy anything. Just have your affairs in order before you visit.

  

Store: American Eagle Outfitters – men’s and women’s clothing

1/2   

Time until greeted: seven minutes

Greeting: “Anything I can help you find?”

Greeter: Brian

Comments: The delay in being greeting wasn’t the worst part – that came in a conversation one of the employees, a young woman, was having with another employee.

She was talking about “I need a backup” and “I didn’t give him my real name.” The rest of the convo was blissfully drowned out by the too-loud music. Suffice it to say, the girl was discussing her sexual conquests from the night before – appropriate for a bar or a Dr. Phil episode, not so hot for a clothing store.

  

Store: Crazy 8 – children’s clothing store

   

Time until greeted: was never greeted

Greeting: was the opposite of greeted

Greeter: in fact, was the opposite of retail – notice a complete absence of masks

Comments: I’ve saved the worst for last – not by design, that’s just how it played out. After four hours of decidedly mixed secret shopping results, it was time for a lack of ambiguity – this was without question one of the worst retail experiences I’ve ever endured.

Crazy 8 is a children’s clothing store. That’s appropriate, as it is apparently being run by kids.

It started with me meandering around the store, while Jeremy, the manager, waited on a customer.

10 minutes later, the phone rang, and while he rang up the customer, Jeremy answered it.

His side of the conversation when something like this:

“Darci quit. Said she wouldn’t be in tonight. Tyler’s over there by himself at the Valley West location…”

Jeremy then puts the phone against his chest, looks up at the customer and says, “There’s a customer care number at the bottom of the receipt, just call if you have any issues.” He hands the man his items, then goes back to his conversation.

Stunning. Mouth-gaping, screen door on a submarine, stunning. And he still hasn’t waited on me yet.

It gets worse.

“I’m looking for that perfect candidate,” he continues into the phone. “I saw some good people but haven’t found somebody that’s going to fit the bill.”

Yes…it must be hard to find employees who can be multi-task offensive in a retail setting.

Jeremy, mercifully, finally hung up – and then unmercifully continued the same conversation with an employee.

I was beginning to lose my mind. I started trying on toddler clothes.

After 20 minutes of listening to the “emplyee’s gone, whadawegonnado?!” drivel, I’d finally had enough.

I walked up to the employees, Jeremyus Lamentus Interruptus, and said, “I’ve been walking around this store for 20 minutes, waiting for you to wait on me, while I’ve had to listen to you talk about your own personal woes because of an employee who quit. What you’re doing is offensive and rude.”

Jeremy looked at me – and said nothing.

So I filled the vacuum.

“And now you’re staring at me and not saying anything, which is even more rude – do you have a clue how to run a store? How in the world can you be like this and expect to stay in business?”

More silence.

“I want a number of your boss – now.”

Remaining moot, Jeremy walked over to his computer and began searching for a customer service number to give to me.

I decided to help the kid out.

“Didn’t you tell that last customer that there’s a customer care number at the bottom of his receipt? Can’t you just print a receipt?”

This apparently jarred his memory. He printed one off, then handed it to the employee beside him and asked her to call it.

After dialing it and listening, she said, “What is the Richmond Times Dispatch?”

I looked at her, shaking my head in disbelief. ”That’s the name of the daily newspaper in Richmond, Virginia.”

“That’s where this number calls to,” she said.

Since I’d recently renewed my subscription, that clearly wasn’t going to help.

Fifteen minutes later, Jeremy found a number with a live human being on the other end, which was apparently a customer service number for Lucky 8 and not a media outlet.

I have not called it – but will let you know what happens when I do.

This experience was bad on so many levels, for so many reasons, it’s hard to wrap my little brain around it. Suffice it to say that there is a decided lack of managerial leadership at Lucky 8.

I never even received an apology from Jeremy. Stunning.

Jeremy, as well as the vast majority of employees I encountered throughout my 28 store Secret Shopping tour, were young – mostly in their 20′s, with a few exceptions. Yet are not their parents (except for those who actually are) who should be expected to excuse their mistakes as a product of their youthful inexperience.

Instead, we are shoppers, who should expect the very best from those who serve on the front lines of retail – regardless of their age.

While there were also a few high quality customer service stand-outs - Vitamin World, Things Remembered, F.Y.E., Yankee Candle – there were also bottom feeders, like Lucky 8, Smart Art and The Finish Line. The majority of stores left, simply under-performed.

Overall, the poor shopping experience at Jordan Creek Mall played against the visual grandeur of the structure – and suggests that simply putting 200 stores under one roof, isn’t enough.

“If you build it, they will come” may be true in mega-malls and cinematic cornfields. (and how Jordan Creek started – just a bunch of corn) But ”If you smile, greet, engage and thank them, they will be back,” while not as poetic, is what keeps them coming - after the last nail is driven, and the first door is opened.

And let’s face it - keeping it open, is a Hollywood ending we all want to see.

  

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday mornings 8-9am, on 1350, KRNT.   

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Facebook page

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Twitter page

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s blog

Click to email Jonnie (jonnie@theunsecretshopper.com)

Phone: 515-480-4190 

  

(The Unsecret Shopper is on vacation this week and will be back Monday, August 2nd. Meantime, enjoy his favorite Unsecret Shopper posts from the past seven months.)

Date post was posted: January 15, 2010

What I like about it: The fact that no one read it

What I learned after writing it: That friends lie 

If you like this post, you’ll love: Any post written after it

(To see the original post with reader comments, click this sentence.)

 

HELLO shoppers…

Yes I’m talking to you, because that is you. You is a shopper. HERE SHOPPER! COME HERE SHOPPER, COME HERE BOY! See? You’re right here – bam, case closed! It is also me, because I also came a runnin (Hey it could be free cookies!) and everybody else who ain’t us, who’s not here or who ran the other way - we’re all shoppers. 

It is a term that describes the second largest collective group of humanity known to humanity. (1st place goes to people who have dropped an empty soda can on their toe and cried ‘OW!’ and felt embarrassed but hey man, that really freakin hurt.) From Osama Bin Laden and The Unabomber (Don’t believe me? Shack curtains -helloo) and the neighbor lady who makes beaded jewelry and smells like an unplugged refrigerator to Jerry Springer and Wilhelm Springer and everyone in Havre, Montana, we have all dropped something on our foot – and to a lesser extent, shopped. 

But what does it mean, to be a shopper?

Scientists from The University of Scientists at Scienceville have been targeting, kidnapping and studying people from Wal-Marts who were wearing tube tops and bib overalls and t-shirts that say “You say Bitch like it’s a bad thing” (eventually turning them loose, almost unharmed, at convenience stores) since 1982, and have developed the following definition: “shoppers” is anyone who buys stuff, “stuff” is “$@&#” posing as gifts, and “posing” is what scientists do as supermodels, to augment their income.

Score one for the eggheads – let’s see if we can unravel this next one ourselves; as shoppers, then, what types of stuff, gifts or $@&# do you, me and anyone who is not Amish, shop for? Logically, we buy stuff that we think we need or that we can use, or that we want. Illogically we buy bobbleheads.

 Then once the stuff that we bought is used up, or is a treadmill, we throw it out and buy more stuff, because something has to go in the space where it used to be. That’s why we invented houses (something that’s both “stuff” and a holder of “$@&#,” from which the French term “mortgage” was coined) As George Carlin once said, “A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.” And there’s your explanation for the housing crisis.

We’ve established that we are shoppers, we are stupid and that the French have different words for everything.

But where does that leave us, as a society of shoppers, besides waiting at the check-out counter, wanting to smash the cell  phone the check-out person is talking into (“God it’s slow - I’m just ringin up some fat guy.”) into their head while they’re inaccurately ringing up our $@&#?

It leaves us holding the bag, my shopping minions - great paper or plastic bags stuffed full of fear and trepidation and underarm and lip sweat normally associated with a senator at a Tea Party, fear fueled by mounting evidence that, in spite of the best efforts of Sam Walton and Ray Kroc and Billy Mays (whose efforts got them killed) and families crammed in station wagons in mall parking lots selling genetically-unrecognizeable puppies (“$15 inkludz shotz!”) we may actually be running out of stuff.

The facts:

Exhibit #1: The other day I had to fill out a rain check at Target because I couldn’t find any Uncle Frannie’s Cow Udder Ointment – since when is Target out of Uncle Frannie’s Cow Udder Ointment?

 Exhibit #2: On a McDonald’s sign not far from Target, I read,”We’re out of Big Macs – why not try cooking at home?”

Exhibit #3: “You traded for what’s behind door #3, where Carol Merrill is standing, and it’s…nothing!”

See what I’m saying? We’re running out of stuff!

We are in a major crisis but you wouldn’t know it, with the Pollyanna news media and their rosy colored “no wars, no unemployment, no global warming, everything’s great!” reporting - don’t you buy it! Or anything else! Because we’re running out of $@&#!!! You can tell this is serious because of all these exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!! 

The key for our shopper survival is to suffer through the next six months with the stuff we have on hand - in spite of every intuitive neuron in our body that screams for us to buy stuff! Now!

 This will give international and U.S. manufacturing conglomerates time to round-up school kids and illegal immigrants and get their factories churning out products 24/7 (or even 28/9, if we can get Congress to pass a bill expanding time) so that our nation’s store shelves can be full of $@&# again. Shoppers, let’s root them on! “LET’S GO! GO! GO! COME ON! COME ON! MAKE $@&#! YEAAAAA!”

Otherwise, mark my words (with a used marker, please) the day will come when, to paraphrase that famous ode to shopping, “Casey At The Bat”:  

There is no joy in Scienceville – the un-used checker, has clocked out

  

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday mornings 8-9am, on 1350, KRNT.   

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Facebook page

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Twitter page

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s blog

Click to email Jonnie (jonnie@theunsecretshopper.com)

Phone: 515-480-4190 

 

 

Hello shoppers…

Greetings to you this fine Monday morning. I hope your weekend jaunts, gallivants and journeys, were happy ones – shopping or not.

For those of you expecting the normal “Monday Morning Reaction” rundown of reader responses from last week’s posts, you’ll find them a week from today at this same blog time, same blog place, in a super-colossal two-week 5,000 word compendium overview that will have my friends in the bloginverse groaning and emailing me things like, “Dude, remember, blogs should be short.” and “This isn’t a blog, it’s War And Peace.”

Ahhhhh, ya nutty blogsters.

And so to our novel idea, proposed in Friday’s post – what would happen if one were to wear a t-shirt that said, “I am Secret Shopping This Store.” into every store visited, the entire weekend? How would employees react? Would they react? Would it make any difference?

 

I set out to find out the answers to these questions, using a homemade t-shirt and no plotted-out plans or mapped-out route – just go where the retail winds would blow me, said the small voice inside my head that wouldn’t  have followed directions even if they had been written out.

The blowing started Saturday morning, ended late Sunday afternoon and produced some very interesting reaction, non-reaction and conversation along the way, which you‘ll experience in the same order as I did.

So hop on the bus, grab a comfy seat, turn up the Beatles music (what I listened to as I drove) as we begin our Magical Mystery Shopping Tour – which is, of course, waiting to take us away, take us away, to…  

 

 9:30am Quik Trip on Fleur Drive

I was immediately greeted by Reva, overtop of the heads of two other customers at the counter.

“Hi Jonnie!”

Wow – this magical t-shirt not only makes people greet me immediately, but also forces my name into their brain! I’m gonna make a fortune!

Actually it was Reva who had the magic memory, remembering me as a regular from her days at another Quik Trip.

She took a look at the shirt, smiled and said, “Are you seeing if people will treat you better?”

Yep - and it couldn’t have started at a better place, with a better person, working for a better company.

 

 9:40am Target on S.E. 14^th

In the ten minutes it took me to drive to Target, the magic evaporated.

Sharla at checkout didn’t notice the shirt – or me – as she somehow talked to one customer about one thing and to a co-worker about another while engaging what I’d purchased with the price scanner - and I didn’t get squat, no greeting, no price, no nutin.

Dumb shirt.

 

9:50am Hy-Vee on Fleur

Miranda in the Floral Department glanced at the shirt but didn’t need the reminder – she greeted me right away with a wonderfully open “What can I help you with?” question.

It’s rare to find an employee working around flowers, plants or animals, who will be anything but happy about being there – Miranda certainly was, and showed it.

 

11:00am Git N’ Go in Norwalk

“Secret Shopper? Welcome!”

Before I could get the store’s door open, Jeff the store manager greeted me like a mom welcoming home her son home from the Navy.

Then he fired a shot over my bow. 

“You probably picked the worst day – I’m short-handed and I’m getting hammered.”

I glanced around – the store was empty. It was just me, Jeff and 2 for $2.29 Salted Nut Rolls. 

I think Jeff was just nervous – or he was going Haley Joel Osmet and was “seeing dead people.”

He needn’t have worried – he was very cordial, smiled and said “Thank you, have a good day.” 

Sure. Uh…I’ll let you get back to your “other” customers…

 

1:00pm Gateway Market on Woodland

Two employees stood on either side of the entrance, close enough for me to high-five as I came in but, being a 5-9 bench-warmer, I wasn’t worthy of it, or a peep from either of them.

A few patrons noticed the shirt, snickered and moved on.

“How are you?“ frowned the cashier, who didn’t seem terribly happy about me, my shirt, my two jars of salsa or the fact that she was working on a busy Saturday at the store.

 

1:19pm YMCA 73rd street

Sue Johnson at the Y, greeted me with a big, warm, wonderful, “Hi Jonnie!” as I came up to the check-in counter, before I began my weekly humiliating defeat at the hands of free weights.

Sue noted the t-shirt and asked about it. Our conversation turned towards something her mother had told her, many times.

“First impressions are the ones that last.”

 Smart mom – who raised a smart daughter.

 

2:44pm Midas on 22nd street WDM

 “Hi – how can I help you?”

 Mike Kingery’s greeting was quick, pleasant, genuine and in spite of the dorky-looking shirt, not because of it.

 I told him I needed a quote on a tire – my left front has less tread than a bowling ball.

 Mike, as he should have, came outside to my car, looked at the irrepairably road-ruined P-165-35-R14, which codes out to mean “wouldn’t hold up long enough to make a decent tire swing” and said, tongue-in-cheek, “It’s a little worn.” 

 That’s the sort of humor that you love to get from an employee.

 Here’s an example of a humor-less ham-handed approach, that occurred a few days before.

 Another mechanic from another auto repair place checked out the same tire last week and exclaimed, with tongue nowhere near cheek, “Why are you still driving on that tire?! That‘s unbelievable.”

 Note to people in the service industry – think twice before you chastise an adult for what they have vs. what you’re selling. It’s like a hair stylist yelling “Holy bird’s nest!“ before going at your ‘do with the scissors. It’s an immediate turn-off, regardless of the intention.

 Back to Mike. 

 After I told him that the price he quoted me was a bit high, he said, “Check at Firestone, down by Hooters.“ He was helping me (I see ya smirking) not because it was good for him but because it was good for me. That’s the sign of a true professional.  

 As I thanked him, he glanced down at my shirt, looked up at me, gave me a smile for the first time and said, “thank you.”

 I resisted the urge to secret (t-shirt) shop Hooters – I meant mine, not theirs!

 

2:51pm Casey’s on 100th by 7 Flags

 As soon as I entered the store, Kevin, from behind the counter, said a nice, warm “How are you today?”

 Which brings me to another side story, also from last week.

 As you may remember reading in a previous blog post, this particular Casey’s was one of those I visited a few weeks back, for “The Unsecret Shopper Goes Shopping: Casey’s” secret shopper review. This location did not fare particularly well in that evaluation.

 Last week I walked into the same location and was immediately greeted by all three people behind the counter, plus a woman at the very end who I didn’t recognize, who apparently recognized me – “Hi Jonnie,” she said.

 I asked her how she knew my name.

 “Let just say, I know you,” she responded cryptically, and not terribly friend-il-ey.

 Apparently somebody had told someone, something – and I’ll leave it cryptically at that.

 

4:35pm Best Buy on Duff in Ames

The tour headed up north to Cyclone Country and Best Buy, where I wasn’t just greeted, I was swarmed.

 The “greeter” at the entrance did his part. Then B.J. and Eamon noticed my shirt and apparently sent a signal with their brains to eight other employees, who quickly surrounded me and began asking questions.

 “Who do you secret shop for?” “How are other companies doing?” “Is it fun?” “Are Brad and Angelina, toast?”

 B.J. told me that they’re used to being secret shopped, because Best Buy has their own secret shopper program. It showed – the guys were incredibly engaging and fun.

 And yes, I promise I will bring “I’m Secret Shopping This Store” t-shirts for all of you greetin, smilin, engagin guys, next time I’m back in Ames. 

 

4:45pm Swift Stop on Duff

Where was B.J. and the gang when you needed them?

 Grant and a co-worker behind the counter didn’t greet me as I came in, which would have disappointed Gary Thompson, the former ISU basketball great and owner of that store and others.

Grant rebounded – as he dribbled back into the cooler, searching for a diet caffeine-free Pepsi for moi, that moi couldn’t find in the rack. No soda, but a very nice “sorry” and “thank you” as I left.

He shoots, he scores. 

 

5:01 Cinemark Movies 12 on Duff

Some curious t-shirt looks from patrons but no overt reaction from employees, as several walked past but said nothing.

The ticket-taker, whose name I unfortunately didn’t get, was outstanding, greeting with a very nice “Hi,“ then noticing the shirt and smiling as she tore my ticket to Kick-Ass.

The fact that Nicolas Cage and Aaron Johnson were too busy acting to notice my shirt, didn’t matter – they were way too enjoyable in a film I thought I wouldn’t.

 

Sunday

 1:30pm La Tapatia on E. 14^th

I listened carefully for “en secreto tienda” but nope…

What I did hear was the squeak squeak of patron’s shoes against what was the cleanest grocery store floor inside the cleanest grocery store I’ve ever seen.

The check-out girl said pleasantly, “hello,” “two-forty-five” (for my salsa) and “thank you.”

 

1:40pm Walgreens on E. 14^th

I wasn’t engaged until the toothbrush aisle, when Jessica, fast-walking past me, saw my shirt, put on the brakes and said, “Can I help you find anything?”

I just did – an attentive employee.

The check-out girl gave a very nice “hello” and “have a nice day.”

 

2:00pm Ace Hardware at 2nd and Euclid

I went in, looking for prices on a power washer – to get the stupid ink outta this t-shirt.

Mike obliged, greeting me with “What can I help you find?” and sending me out with, “Have a great day!” He saw the shirt but would have been nice, regardless – great smile, great attitude.

 

2:45pm Rieman Music on Douglas Avenue

“Love that shirt! How can I help you”

Kyle’s greeting was almost immediate and very nice.

 

3:00pm Bike World on Douglas

Nobody at Bike World seemed to notice that I was wearing a “I’m Secret Shopping…“ t-shirt. Or that I was wearing generic pants. Or, as I passed within 4-5 feet of them, that I had shape, form and (quite a bit of) mass, took up quiteabita space or appeared to have many of the physical qualities associated with “shopper,” “customer” and “human.”

The four employees working in the store, in fact, were able to unnotice this for a startling 15 minutes – until I gave up looking for someone to tell me about a $3,500 recumbent, took my shirt, pants and wallet, and went home i.e. the next store.

 

3:21pm O’Reilly Auto Parts on Douglas

The t-shirt was quickly losing its aura, even as it gained “Essence de Unsecret Shopper” from being shopped in for two days.

An employee behind the counter engaging a customer said nothing to me as I entered, nor did Adam, another employee behind the same counter, engaging a magazine.

After the customer left and another two minutes passed, the first guy finally managed, “Finding what you need?”

No – got any greetings in my size?

 

3:45pm Furniture Source on 22^nd Street WDM

Third time’s uncharming. 

Ernie didn’t notice me browsing the showroom floor because he was too busy browsing the internet, behind the counter.

 After three minutes, I gave the universal signal for “customer needs help” – I took off my shirt and held it upside-down.

 That did it. “Hello. How are you?”

 I told Ernie I was fine. And that was fine with Ernie, who went right back to web browsing.

 I walked away and listened as Tom, who had been with a customer when I first came in and was now finished, walked up to Ernie and said, “Has that guy been helped?”

 “He’s just looking,” replied Ernie, strangely, since all I’d said to him was “I’m fine.” Talk about reading between the lines.

 Tom, smartly, didn’t quite accept Ernie’s thumbnail evaluation of the situation, stepping up to engage me, anyway.

 “Anything I can help you with?”

 After I replied in the negative, Tom looked at my shirt and said, “A secret shopper – never seen one of those before.”

Neither has Ernie, Tom.

 

5:30pm Target on Plum Drive (off I-80/35) in Urbandale

Four employees couldn’t have given a hoot and a holler about me or my t-shirt, ignoring me as I walked within arm’s length of them.

Laura ended the drought, in stellar fashion.

“Hello, how are you?” she greeted with a beautiful smile at the checkout counter. Laura was the nicest employee I encountered that day, exchanging pleasantries and also handing me my merchandise as I began to walk off without it.

“I don’t want to have to chase you all the way out to the parking lot,” she joked.

I’m sure she would have. T-shirt or not.

And with that, the wheels on The Magical Mystery Shopping Tour bus quit going round and round, and the tour came to a halt.

 

Two days, 19 stores - and all I got was this smelly “I am Secret Shopping This Store” t-shirt.

 I also got better treatment from at least a quarter of the stores – my perception – based on the t-shirt, and an equal amount of not so hot, where the t-shirt’s power was neutralized by that generic but still effective form of Kryptonite, ambivalence.

 For still others, their employees smiled, greeted, engaged and thanked – textbook offerings that prove that the power of great customer service, still lies in happy people more than great training…which doesn’t hurt, either.

 What the shirt did, more than anything, was create conversation – among patrons and employees alike – about customer service. And for a $4.99 six- pack of cotton 2XL t’s and an hour and three tries to draw the message semi-ledgibly, it seems more than worth it.

 Let’s hope the real conversation continues this morning, inside manager and employee meetings across Des Moines – about how every consumer who passes through a store’s doors, is a Secret Shopper – with or without the uniform.

 Have a great Monday. Shop happy. Serve happy.

 

 

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketint strategist and host of “The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show,” Saturday mornings 8-9am on 1350 KRNT. Email Jonnie at jonniewright@thebuyosphere.com.