The (Un) Secret Shopper

Hello shoppers…

Right now, you are likely thinking about the picture above, and these words below it.

When you are finished, you will think about other things; emailing a friend, making a call, letting out the dog, organizing your desk, getting lunch, balancing your checkbook, picking up the kids after basketball practice.

You probably won’t think about dying.

Neither was Brenda.

On December 14th, eight days after her 47th birthday, Brenda Carpenter was thinking about the normal things a single mother of four, living in Des Moines, thinks about: kids, kids’ schedules, bills, work, life.

Until doctors told her she had stage 4 lung and liver cancer.

Stage 4 - the most advanced form of lung cancer. The worst of the worst. No cure.

Brenda was diagnosed with emphysema four years ago. This was different.

Doctors gave her four months to live.

No more summers spent grilling steaks, her favorite food. No more watching One Tree Hill, her favorite show. No more listening to Tesla on the radio, or REO Speedwagon. No more dreams of taking her kids to the Florida Keys for their first vacation.

It would soon be over. She was on the clock.

Her mind raced with thoughts; how would she tell the kids? Should she? Who would take her youngest, Dustin, 15, and Madison, 10? Both of her two oldest boys – Archie, 25, and James, 23 – have babies due in October. Would grandma be around long enough to hold them?

James, Madison, Dustin, Archie and Brenda

Brenda was no stranger to tough times. Her mother was a junkie. Her father had died of brain cancer. She’d also made some bad choices in her life; She’d married a man who later spent 16 years in prison, for drugs. She’d been with others who mistreated her, then abandoned her. She started smoking when she was 12 – and was now paying the price.

With her diagnosis came the most important choice of her life: she would choose to fight to stay alive. For her children.

She started chemotherapy – every three weeks, for 5-6 hours. A week after the initial diagnosis, tests revealed she also had four tumors on her brain and lymph-nodes. She began radiation treatments the next day - once a day, for 15 straight days.

It was brutal.

She vomited. Her hair fell out. Sores developed inside her mouth. Her bones literally hurt from the treatments. She became short of breath. She was constantly exhausted. She hardly slept.

All of this would buy her an extra four months.

Yet she stuck with it, hopeful she might live longer, that she might be the one in ten who beat the odds.

The odds of Brenda and I discovering each other were slim. Somehow, we did, through Dawn, her cousin, who I happen to know. She mentioned Brenda’s plight. A meeting was arranged.

I visited Brenda a week ago last Sunday, January 16th, at the beginning of a two-week break in her chemo and radiation treatments. The two of us sat beside each other, on Dawn’s couch.

Brenda immediately handed me two sheets of paper, with writing on three sides.

“It’s her story,” Dawn said. 

Brenda leaned towards me. “I worked all night to write it,” she told me in a whisper, her vocal chords compressed by the tumors that pressed against them. 

I read it, then looked up at her. Tears were streaming down her face. “I need every kind of help.” she said.

Brenda was working before she began cancer treatments. She was forced to quit because of her condition. “I was denied disability,” she said. Brenda didn’t work enough credits in her lifetime to qualify. “I have no way to hold down a job. It takes me twenty minutes to get ready for bed.” 

Somehow, Brenda managed a smile. “I had to borrow toilet paper the other day. I couldn’t afford to buy any.” She paused. “One of my sons gave me money towards a bill.” The tears came again. It seemed like she would break into a million pieces if touched. I wrapped my hand around hers. 

“I try to stay upbeat and positive,” she said, looking down. “I get up before the children do, and cry. Then I put on a happy face.”

She looked over at Dawn. “She’s my rock,” she said. The two were born six months apart. “We are more like sisters than cousins.”

Dawn will get custody of Madison and Dustin. It was crushing to hear the two of them speak about this. Dawn also struggles; she lost her job, lives in Section 8 housing, has children of her own and her own health issues. ”I don’t know how I’m going to do this,” Dawn said.

Brenda didn’t want her to have to. “I fight every day,” Brenda said. “I don’t want to die.”

She understood the odds, and prepared as best she could.

“I’m writing letters to my kids. I saved a lock of my hair for my daughter, for her wedding day.”

It was time to go. I promised to do whatever I could to help her and her family. We both stood up, and hugged. “I’m holding you to that,” she said, looking me in the eye. “I’m holding you to that.

I left, thinking Brenda had months to live.

She had less than 24 hours.

The next day, Monday, January 17th, Dustin went in to Brenda’s bedroom to check on his mom.

She had died in her sleep.

Her suffering is over.

Now, it is those who loved her that suffer.

God allowed her to live just long enough to tell her story. Now you know it.

And the promise will be kept.

1963-2011

Brenda’s children have many needs. A fund has been established.

Donations can be made to the Brenda Carpenter Memorial Fund

at any of the eight Des Moines area Hamilton’s Funeral Homes.

A Celebration of Life Service will be held on January 30th

at The Eagles Lodge

6567 Bloomfield Road in Des Moines.

It is open to the public.

Hello shoppers…

Order in the court – or, to quote the famous Mad Magazine parody of Planet of the Apes, odor in the court.

We do a bit of lawyerly monkeying around this morning on The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show:

The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show for Saturday January 22nd, 2011

 (Left click to listen, right click to download, don’t click to not hear.)

It’s an attorney-licious show that includes an overview of my Secret Shopper review of Des Moines area divorce attorneys.

You’ll also hear conversations with some of DM’s most respected and well-known counsel: Kimberly Stametelos, of Stametelos and Associates; Rick Schmidt, of Berg, Rouse, Spaulding and Schmidt; and Tom Graves, of Graves Law Firm.

Spending time with a dozen divorce attorneys is like going to jail for 10 days (I’ve done both); it motivates you to never want to come back.

For those who are lucky enough to have found “the one” (or who have avoided doing time in the “big house”), you are the blessed angels among us.

It seems like a perfect time to go tell the love of your life, that they are. Go ahead. I’ll be right here, when you get back, on Monday…

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday mornings 8-9am, on 1350, KRNT.       

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Facebook page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Twitter page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s blog    

Click to email Jonnie (jonnie@theunsecretshopper.com)    

Phone: 515-480-4190

Hello shoppers…

After a long recess, court is once again in session – in order to present Part 2 of a secret shopper review of Des Moines area divorce attorneys.

Part 1‘s proceedings covered six attorneys. Today’s docket features six more.

I evaluated the “Divorce Dozen” in part by using the Pillars of Great Customer Service that I teach, as a customer service trainer. I’ve never been married, but I posed as someone who is (and don’t wanna be no mo). My wife “Jane” and I have been hitched for ten years. We have no children together (She has three with another dude) but do own a house, jointly, and outright. She doesn’t work. I make $200.000 a year, and have also amassed a retirement fund worth over half a million dollars.

I’m toast.

Yesterday’s group of attorneys did a great job of explaining the divorce process, and of offering ways for me to minimize my alimony liability that didn’t involve moving to Canada, and becoming “Ralph.”

Before you, the jury, deliberate the facts…

… I would like to submit into evidence a second group of attorneys, below.

Hockett-Clark Law Office

5550 Wild rose Lane, West Des Moines

Phone answered: “Good afternoon (unintelligible).” (The receptionist might want to slow down her delivery a bit.)

It took a while for me to find Debra’s unmarked office among the 80 unmarked offices on the Regus Building’s fourth floor. (It was MLK Day and the receptionist had the day off.) Finally I knocked on the (W)right door. Debra didn’t greet me by name but flashed a big smile as she shook my hand.

It was clear that Debra was very busy. ”I have a mediation and all kinds of things scheduled today,” she said. It felt like she was trying to hurry me up a bit, although she may have simply been lamenting not having her support staff around to help out. 

Debra methodically laid out the divorce process right out of the gate, asking me few questions at the beginning. She mentioned the 90 day requirement after a divorce petition is served, before it can be finalized. “There are a few reasons we can file a waiver on the 90 day requirement, “she explained, the first and only attorney to reference the waiver. She also explained that “trial dates involving no children may be scheduled further out (over eight months) than those with children,” since the courts want to give precedence to cases involving kids. That made sense.

Later in the conversation, instead of asking me a question, Debra would present it as a statement. “I don’t know if you guys have significant assets and debts…” “I don’t know how much you two are communicating…” “I don’t know your income, but…” She finally asked me a few questions – if I owned my own company, if my wife worked.  Then Debra said, “If you move out of the house, the obvious problem is that she’s living in the house, and you aren’t.” I thought this would be a hot button isue with all the attorneys, but Debra was the first one to reference it in that way. She cautioned me about trying to maintain two households. “You should consider if you want to leap off this cliff.” Great job!

Debra was thorough in her description of the process. She probably could have asked me a few more questions early on, to bring me into the conversation, and process, sooner.

When I finally told her I wasn’t really a husband looking for his freedom but a single dude who laughed at those who were, she was kind of shocked. That’s understandable. She probably hasn’t been secret shopped in a long time. Like, ever.

Overall: Debra is thorough, knowledgeable and competent.

Marberry Law Firm

5835 Grand Avenue, Des Moines

Phone answered: “Marberry Law Firm.” (Business-like – probably could be warmer, with a nice “Thank you for calling” at the beginning.)

I told the receptionist I was calling to find an attorney because I was divorcing my wife. She replied, “This is in regards to a dissolution?”

No, a divorce.

When I arrived, there was no receptionist at the front. I could hear a woman talking on the phone about a case. I looked at the receptionist’s desk; it was covered with legal papers and sealed, addressed envelopes. None of it felt terribly secure.

I heard the woman hang up the phone. I stood there a bit longer, to see if she’d pop her head out. She didn’t. I said, “Helloooooo?”

That’s when Kate Stillman appeared.

She offered me a cup of coffee, used my name and was friendly, but didn’t smile as we sat down at her desk.

“This is for a dissolution?” she immediately asked.

If “dissolution” means “divorce,” then “yes.”

Kate then asked, “What’s sort of going on?” It was a strong question; it made me feel like she wanted to hear my story.

I told her the details. She said, “According to Iowa law, you don’t have to leave the home. That’s to preserve the cost.” It was a good point to make. Some men may think they have to physically hit the road. (Some women may like the fact that they think this.)

Kate gave the Reader’s Digest version of the divorce process, including the 90 day waiting period, or what she called the “cooling off period.”

She then asked, “Any issues in your marriage?”

Other than the fact that we want a divorce?

Kate made up for what I thought was kind of a dorky question, with a few strong ones: ’Are you willing to pay alimony?” “What would you like to see done with the house?” She also tried to allay my fears. “It doesn’t sound like you’re going to have a ton of issues.”

Kate did not ask how much money I made, how much I might have in retirement or how much the house was worth, all of which may have added some tonnage.

She did a nice job of breaking down some of the costs: $185 to file, $150 an hour for mediation, which she said usually lasts about three hours, and the cost is split between the two parties. 

“The retainer is $1,500, unless alimony blows up as an issue,” Kate said. She was being honest, but I didn’t like to hear “$1,500,” “alimony” and “blow up” in the same sentence.

It was time to blow (up) my cover.

Kate sort of smiled as I told her what I was up to. Let’s call it a forced grin.

Overall: Kate is a very busy, competent attorney who asked some very smart questions that no one else asked.

Stamatelos And Associates

2700 Westown Parkway, West Des Moines

Phone answered: (It was voice-mail.) The message said to leave a message, and to go to their website, and fill out an intake form – a very cool little detail!

As cool as Kimberly Stamatelos’ voice message was, she was ten times that and a bag of chips in person.

She greeted me warmly and with a smile, by name and with a handshake as I entered her office.

We sat down in the conference room.

“I like to just hear about what happened,” Kimberly began. Empathetic, compassionate, not worrying about the process at this point – it was a fantastic way to start.

I laid it all out for her, including the fact that I made enough to buy a proton accelerator, while my wife earned less than the cost of a box of Kleenex.

“I’m glad you’re doing this now instead of five years from now,” she said with a huge smile, “or else you’d be taking care of her through the old people’s home.”

Kimberly was very open about the crapshoot of determining alimony. “The problem with alimony is that there’s no rule. I call it ‘free-fall.’” 

We talked about the odds of the outcome being decided by a judge. “We try to keep you out of trial, because it turns your money over to strangers (judges),” she explained. ”Judges also want mediation. They have zero tolerance about, ‘he didn’t take out the garbage,’ ‘she didn’t take care of the dog.’” She emphasized the different personalities of the judges, that some were more desireable than others, depending on what a client wanted. “Judges are people, too,” she said. “They have different experiences, different backgrounds. All of that comes in to play.” Unfortunately the judge we’d end up with was out of our control. “We don’t know who our judge is until the night before trial.”

Kimberly left and came back with a book that had the actual Iowa Statute that outlines the factors that go into determining alimony. “Length of marriage. Age and physical health of parties. Distribution of property made. Educational level of parties. Earning capacity of parties.” And a lot more.

We talked about how much this was going to cost me. 

“Your legal fees will depend on who she gets as an attorney,” she said. Honest, reasonable – it was a great way to say it.

I was having way too much fun talking with the very engaging Kimberly to tell her I was not some unlucky married dolt who was going to get taken to the cleaners but was instead a single secret shopper, but still a dolt.

I came clean. She smiled big and laughed loud, just like I figured she would. She also wondered how she did, and was the only attorney to ask. ”Give me some feedback! Tell me what I can do better!” Awesome job, Kimberly!

Overall: Kimberly is dynamic, engaging, witty, compassionate and down to earth, someone you’d love to have as your attorney, or your friend.

Berg, Rouse, Spaulding and Schmidt

2423 Ingersoll, Des Moines

Phone answered: “Good afternoon. Berg, Rouse, Spaulding and Schmidt.”

The receptionist who greeted me at the desk was pleasant, busy and efficient. She got up out of her chair and stood up to address me, as I approached – awesome. She did something else that was equally subtle and no less powerful; after she’d told an attorney that ”Your 1:45 is here,” she put the phone back down, and, smiling, told me he’d be right out. I said thank you, and lingered by the counter, looking through the business cards. Instead of turning away and going about her business, the receptionist continued to face me, standing, until I turned away, at which point she went back to doing her thing. It was a professional and thoughtful gesture. Amazing job!

Rick Schmidt was also rock and roll.

He flashed a big smile as he invited me back into his office, shook my hand (a little weakly) and called me by name with a very deep, resonant voice. He was casually dressed in black jeans and a beautiful purple shirt, and the laid-back look fit his chilled out vibe. 

Rick touched on the divorce process, outlined the three types of alimony and used analogies instead of legalese, when necessary.

He talked about the ways she could be served the petition. “You could also take her the papers,” he said. Rick was the first and only attorney to offer this as one of my options. Awesome!

As the income disparity between my wife and me became apparent, Rick opened his eyes wide and blew through his lips “Whew!” It was exactly how you’d expect a dude to react. Yet he had no intention of having me roll over. “Spousal support and alimony is a crap shoot,” he said, “but we’ll argue that she’s got a bigger capacity to work than she claims.”

Rick did not use my name throughout the conversation – which I pointed out to him when I finally stopped claiming I was who I wasn’t, and told him who I was.

Rick smiled, said he’d never been secret shopped and thanked me for the feedback I gave him, especially about his receptionist. “We think she’s fantastic,” he beamed.

You can hear more from Rick Schmidt, including the biggest mistakes people make when they get a divorce, during my conversation with him, on The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday morning 8-9am on 1350 KRNT.

Overall: Rick is clever and quick-witted, and projects a strong, “man’s man” persona, yet is equally compassionate and understanding.

Sullivan and Ward

6601 Westown Parkway, West Des Moines

Phone answered: “Sullivan and Ward.” (Pleasant, but could use a nice “Thank you for calling…” at the front end.)

The receptionist connected me to Samantha Gronewald, who was very upbeat and happy on the phone.

“In this initial consultation, I’ll explain the process,” she said. She didn’t use my name during our conversation, but ended it with “Have a great weekend!” Nice job!

I visited her office a few days later. The receptionists who greeted me were pleasant, smiling and cordial. They offered me coffee as they sat me down in the huge conference room, to wait for Samantha.

She joined me a few minutes later.

“Are the kids living at home?” she asked, after I’d explained the situation. She was the first and only attorney to ask that question. She also asked, “Would you want to maintain a relationship with the kids?” Again, she was the only attorney to ask it.

Samantha described the different ways my wife could be served, and recommended against the third one, a process server. “That gets cases off on the wrong foot,” she cautioned.

She pulled out an Affidavit of Financial Status and went over it, in detail. Beside it, she put a blank piece of paper, and drew a simple graph, marking one column, ”assets,” and the other, ”debits.” It was a wonderful way to explain the formal document, which she then gave me.  

Samantha asked, “How long were you together before you were married?” I immediately understood why she asked it; she was the first and only attorney to do so.

Then she said, with a quiet determination, ”I would encourage you to take the position that there will be no spousal support.” This was someone who was obviously going to fight for me.

She assured me that most cases “usually get settled at mediation,” and that “if they’re not, you usually know it right away.” She gave me a “best case scenario” time line (90 days) 2nd worst case (160 days) and worst case (6-9 months).

Samantha explained the process of a pre-trial conference, talked about what to expect at trial and, towards the end, said the sweetest, most reassuring thing, with a beautiful smile:

“If I never hear from you again, I assume that everything worked out fine.” Wowowowowowowowow.

She broke down her fees: $175 an hour if she’s working on it, $85 if it’s something the paralegal can do. “My retainer is $2,500 for divorces without children.”

I wanted to get married so I could get a divorce so I could hire Samantha. I punched the feeling in the face until it shut up.  

It was time to shut up the charade, and come clean. Samantha, my name is Jonathan Reed Atticus Wright, and I am the award-winning author ‘The Unsecret Shopper,’ the most well-read, incredibly important and influential blog in the whole entire world. I’m sure you’ve heard of me – I’m stunned you didn’t recognize me.  I’m here today because-

“I’ve never heard of The Unsecret Shopper.”

…oh.

She was a great sport about the whole thing.

Overall: Samantha is uber-thorough, extremely poised, detail-oriented and driven - a total professional.

Babich Goldman

100 Court Avenue, Des Moines

Phone answered: “Babich.” (This was the shortest answer of all the phone calls. I’m glad I heard both syllables.)

After I told him my story, Les Babich asked me a long list of questions: How long had I been married? Children? What county did I live in? What do I do for a living? What does my wife do? How much does your wife make? How much do you make?

“Six figures,” I replied/lied.

 ”It’s $390 an hour for a consultation,” he said. Can I change my answer?

I told him I was looking for a free consultation because “I’ve never been divorced before” and needed to find out what I was supposed to do. He started throwing out days and times he was available. We finally agreed on one.

I went to his office on Court Avenue not knowing if he’d charge me. I had 69 cents and a Gummy Bear in my pocket.

It turned out to be free. Because Les wasn’t there.

Mindy Guynn, a paralegal, and the receptionist both greeted me at the door. Both were very apologetic. (I got the feeling this wasn’t the first time they’d had to do this.) Mindy said that Les was stuck in court and that she’d tried to call me, but couldn’t read Les’ handwriting.

Note to staff: keep Les away from pens and pencils.

Neither of the two women used my name while we talked, but they both smiled, and were extremely friendly and engaging.

I decided to come clean, and told them I was secret shopping attorneys. They both kind of got that “uh-oh” look; I assured them that they’d been great, and that I’d go easy on Mr. Babich.

Life is what gets in the way of plans.

Overall: Mindy and the receptionist were awesome. Ladies, please work with Les on his phone greeting, and penmanship.

The Verdict:

I, Judge Unsecret Shopper, find the following defendants GUILTY of the charge of providing great customer service to the ultimate degree…plus these additional charges:

1. Samantha Gronewald – GUILTY of being the most thorough and poised attorney. If it was time to kick my no good husband to the curb, I’d want Samantha doin the kickin.

2. Kimberly Stamatelos – GUILTY of being the most engaging and witty attorney. If it goes to trial, I want Kimberly, who will charm the pants/skirt off the judge.

3. Tom Graves - GUILTY of being the most old-school, down to earth attorney. If it’s a criminal case, I want Tom, who is Des Moines’ version of Melvin Belli.

Also facing additional charges of being off the customer service hizzle, fo shizzle:

Rick Schmidt and Ryan Weese

Thanks to all the attorneys for being such great sports. This customer service court is adjourned. Bailiff, bring in the next secret shopper defendant…

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday mornings 8-9am, on 1350, KRNT.       

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Facebook page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Twitter page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s blog    

Click to email Jonnie (jonnie@theunsecretshopper.com)    

Phone: 515-480-4190

Hello shoppers…

According to the American Bar Association, there are 1,239,526 lawyers in the United States.

Here is one of 1,239,526 lawyer jokes:

A 50 year-old lawyer who had been practicing since he was 25 years old died and arrived at the pearly gates of Heaven.

The lawyer said to St. Peter, “I am so surprised I died so young. I was so active, and always ate well. And I’m only 50 years old!”

St. Peter looked at his book and looked back down at the lawyer.

“50 years old, you say? According to your billing records, you should be 83.”

Lawyers, or, for the purposes of this review, attorneys (There is a technical difference) can bill a lot of hours because they spent seven years of college in the campus law library while you and I did things that made our parents hire legal counsel.

That stressed our folks out, which led them to get a divorce, which led them to hire attorneys, which led to today’s Secret Shopper review.

Can you handle the truth about attorneys?

Divorce rates - as well as the number of marriages – fell in the U.S., in 2009. Apparently people thought it would be cheaper just to love and honor, or hate and yell at each other, without making it official. About a third of all Americans over the age of 15 aren’t married, according to the U.S. Census.

For the locals who are but don’t want to be, here are a dozen Des Moines area law firms and solo practices that specialize in divorce. I selected them at random, from Google searches, phone book searches and recommendations from (divorced) friends.

The pretend scenario: I’ve been married for 10 years. I have recently moved out of the house because of marital problems. I’m seeking a divorce, and need to hire counsel.

Other made-up details: My wife Jane and I have no children together, but she does have three from a previous relationship. We own our home (valued at $250,000) free and clear (lol). I am the sole breadwinner in the house, and make $200,000 a year (ROTFLMAO). I have stashed away $600,000 in a retirement fund (Stop it! My stomach!). And if I don’t hire a good attorney, I’ll be living in a van down by the river (beside former Governor Culver).

At the end of every conversation, I told the attorney who I really was, and what I was really doing. A review is a review, but a lawsuit is…you get the idea.

Today’s Part 1 review will describe my experiences with six attorneys (in no particular order). Friday’s Part 2 will cover the other six. 

I went in looking for Pillars of Great Customer Service: Did the attorney smile, greet me by name and use a firm (but not crushing) handshake? Did the attorney use my name as we talked, to break down the walls that exist between people who have never met? Did the attorney maintain good eye contact? Did the attorney ask me questions as they described the divorce process, to bring me into the conversation? Was the attorney cordial, engaging and empathetic? Did the attorney thank me at the end, shake my hand and use my name again? Besides the Pillars, did the attorney do a good job explaining how divorce works? Would I retain this person as counsel?

What will be the Unsecret Shopper's verdict?

Most of the attorneys offered a free initial consultation. Those who didn’t are noted, because I didn’t talk to them, because I’m cheap.

None of the attorneys were. They charge up to $250 an hour, with retainers ranging from $600 to $3,500. There’s a reason why attorneys rank in the top 15 of highest paying careers.

They earn it.  After spending hours listening to these 12 highly trained professionals describe the often long, drawn-out and painful experience of going through a marriage dissolution, may I say, emphatically, to my friends and family members who gave me grief over the years for never walking down the aisle…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Now, all rise – in the case of The Unsecret Shopper vs. Des Moines Divorce Attorneys, the (basically) Honorable Judge Wright presiding…

Scott Fisher Law Firm

1200 Valley West Drive, West Des Moines

Phone answered: “Fisher Law Firm.” (A “Thank you for calling…” at the beginning would have been great. The voice on the other end was very pleasant.)

The person who answered the phone did some pre-qualifying, and was the only one who did so. “Do you have kids?” “Have you been served?” This was also the only person who said, ”We could set up a free consultation,” pointing out that I wasn’t going to be charged. I thought that was very strong.

What isn’t so strong is my memory, and my notes – neither of which indicate if the person who answered the phone was a woman (who would have likely not been Scott Fisher), or a man (who would have had a much better chance of being, indeed, Scott).

My bad, Scott, either way.

I do know that Scott greeted me, pleasantly, at the door of his office. He’s got a great handshake. He also said my name, and smiled. Awesome start!

We sat down at his desk.

Scott and I talked a bit about my situation. He said, “I take a retainer of $600 to $1,000 for a divorce.” That’s the lowest number quoted, by any of the attorneys I met with.  

Scott then asked me some basic questions: was I living with my wife? (No) Did we own our home? (Yes) Is it in both our names? (Yes)

“What’s your address?” he asked, reasonably enough.

I’m a chronic renter. I gave him the address of a house in Des Moines my mother had purchased in 1979.

He turned towards the computer screen on his desk. “Let’s look it up.”

Look it up?

“Let’s make sure that both your names are on the house.”

Whaaaaaaaat????

I watched in horror as he went to a website and punched in the address. A PDF image of the title or deed or whatever you nutty homeowners sign, slowly unfurled itself on the screen. At the top of the document, beside “OWNER:” was a name. I was hoping it was mine, and maybe I’d just forgotten that I’d been making monthly payments on it (a nice little house on 42nd street) for 31 years.

Scott frowned. ”Uh…it says that the owner’s name is Bob Giuseppi.”

How ya gonna get out of this one, wabbit?

“Yeah…that’s…uh…my maiden name, before I got married.”

Actually I said, “Ya got me. I’m busted.”

I explained who I was, what I was doing there and why I’m an idiot. Scott wasn’t sure how to take the first two things, but kinda laughed at the last part.

I told him to bring up my website (since he was already on the ‘net). Sure enough, there was my mug, unmasked.

“That must be fun,” he said.

Most of the time.

Overall: Scott is pleasant, thorough and knowledgeable – and is ready to represent Mr. Giuseppi, should he need legal counsel.

Hudson, Mallaney, Shindler and Anderson

5015 Grand Ridge Drive, West Des Moines

Phone answered: “Good afternoon. Hudson Law Firm.” (Pleasant)

The receptionist connected me to Ryan Weese, who used my name twice during the brief conversation. Nice job! We set up an appointment. “I’ll pick your brain tomorrow,” he said, not knowing the pickens would be slim.

The next day, I was greeted by an unsmiling receptionist. Four unsmiling attorneys walked past me, glanced at me and then looked away while I waited in the lobby. This was going to be fun…

Tracey’s warm smile and greeting broke the somber mood. ”Hi, Jon! I’m Tracey!” She offered me a beverage while she took me to the conference room, apologizing along the way for some construction disarray. “We had some recent water damage from a sprinkler system that went off accidentally. Excuse the mess.” 

Ryan entered a few minutes later. He wore a slight smile, and a beautiful blue tie. He extended a warm handshake, invited me to sit down, and immediately apologized for the flood damage. “Sorry for the mess. We’re lucky to be in business,” he said, flashing a smile.

With the disparity between my income and my soon-to-be-ex-wife’s, it was clear I wasn’t going to be quite so lucky.

“You’ve got an alimony risk,” the Drake graduate said, in a beautifully understated lawyerly way, after I told him I made six figures, and my wife earned a couple bucks occasionally babysitting for the neighbors. He mentioned my wife’s name, and mine as we talked. Great memory!

This was one of the first attorneys I secret shopped, so I didn’t quite have all the details ironed out in my head. This led to a weird moment.

“When were you married?” Ryan asked.

“1989,” I pulled out of my hat.

“How old are your wife’s children?”

“They’re 14 and 12,” I replied, thinking of my two favorite Powerball numbers.

He paused. “Uh…you said the children are from your wife’s previous marriage…”

“Yes.” If Ryan was the 5:15 DART,  I was getting to the bus stop around five til six.

“Did something happen?” he offered, trying to help out an old man.

Finally an incandescent light flickered inside my skull. 

“Oh…I’d really rather not talk about it right now.” Great save, Edison!

Ryan did a nice job of explaining the nuts and bolts of the process, from filing the petition for divorce, to mediation, to a possible trial, which he said was unlikely, and wouldn’t happen soon, even if things did get that far. “If we filed today, it would take 8 to 10 months to get in front of a judge.” Yikes. Ryan addressed my apprehensions. “We probably handle more divorce cases than anybody else in Iowa.” He didn’t mention how much this divorce might cost me – the only attorney to not offer that information.

Finally I let the cat out of the bag. I’ve never been married, I make 12 grand a year as a minor blogger and you’re on Unsecret Shopper Camera.

Ryan flashed a big smile; he was a great sport about it. “I was wondering about the ages of those kids, and the marriage date,” he laughed, although he said that’s not the strangest thing he’s ever heard. “You’d be surprised.”

Overall: Ryan is a consummate professional – all business, but pleasant and empathetic. And his tie, rocked.

Hope Law Firm

317 6th Avenue, Des Moines

Phone answered: “Thank you for calling Hope Law Firm.” (Very pleasant)

The receptionist asked “Can I help you?” as I approached her desk. Readers of The Unsecret Shopper know how I feel about closed-ended questions, that I think they’re evil, that they kill birds in mid-flight, that they’re responsible for WWII. A nicer, warmer, “Hi! How can I help you?” would have felt nicer and warmer. She did smile, offered me coffee and gave me a form to fill out while I waited in the lobby.

The info sheet was somewhat confusing, although I confuse easily. It asked for “number of marriages,” then, “number of previous marriages.” Those sounded like they were asking for the same number, unless I lived in Utah.

Further down the form, it asked for info about my wife. ”Adverse Party Name.” “Adverse” may be a legal term, but the adjective felt unnecessary, and inflammatory, although some divorce-seekers might prefer something stronger.

Cynthia Lange soon appeared. “Hello Jon,” she said, with a nice smile, while shaking my hand.

Cynthia broke the news to me quickly, after I told her what I made, and what my wife didn’t. “You’ll be stuck with some alimony.” She did a nice job of explaining the three main types in Iowa: Temporary (helps spouse maintain lifestyle until actual divorce, and sometimes a bit after it), Permanent (paid throughout spouse’s life) and Rehabilitative (paid to a non-working spouse  until they can get back on their feet).

I’m voting for “None.”

“There is no actual set formula for alimony,” Cynthia explained, although she said also said they’re looking into changing that.

I told her I was anxious to move forward. ”You may want to give her a carrot, to get this going,” she suggested. I already gave her a carat…

Cynthia was pleasant but very business-like. She obviously knew her stuff, but probably assumed a bit too much that I did, too; she used terms like “onus” and “exigent” and “answer and appearance” and other legalese that didn’t go over my head, but did glance off my forehead, making my eyes glaze over a bit. She also could have asked me a few more questions as she described the process, just to give me more ownership, and pull me into the conversation a bit more

I’d taken enough of this fine attorney’s time. I told her who I was, and why I was there.

Cynthia looked sort of shell-shocked at first, then slowly smiled. “I’ve never been secret shopped before!” she exclaimed. I get that all the time…

Overall: Cynthia is extremely knowledgeable and competent, and gives off a confident persona.

Phil Watson, P.C.

535 East Army Post Road, Des Moines

Phone answered: “Watson Law Firm.” (Pleasant)

I explained my plight to the receptionist, who engaged in a bit of chit-chat, then cut to the chase: “The charge for the initial consultation is $75.”

I declined.

An attorney’s gotta eat, I get that. Their time is money, rightfully so and totally understood. For this review, however, I decided that I’d only seek free consultations, because any money I spent on my fake divorce would be money I couldn’t spend on my real therapist.

Of the dozen attorneys/law firms I contacted, this was one of two that charged for the first visit. (You’ll read about the second one – who I did end up seeing for free - in Friday’s Part 2 review.)

Graves Law Firm

2024 92nd Court, Clive

Phone answered: “Tom Graves.”

I expected a receptionist to answer the phone; when Tom did, it sort of threw me.

Tom could have literally thrown me; he’s a big man. He works in a nondescript building, tucked back in an industrial area, off the beaten path.

“Come on in!” he yelled from his office, as I stepped into the receptionist’s area, a few days later.

I walked up to Tom, who flashed a quick smile and shook my hand, looking down and away from me. He invited me to sit down, then took his own advice, leaning back in his chair, with one foot pressing against the edge of his desk. ”What’s up?”

I laid it out for him. Tom immediately tried to allay my fears. ”Nobody goes to trial anymore,” he said, and went on to tell me about the backlog in the courts.

“I charge $200 an hour, and receive a $3,500 retainer.” That was all I needed to know to know I didn’t want to go to trial.

Tom Graves is a big man with a big persona; he’s a combination of attorney Melvin Belli (looks) and Dr. McCoy from Star Trek (demeanor), which is especially ironic since they both once appeared on the same show.

                                             (Belli + Bones = TG)

He’s very cordial, laid back and down to earth, a total straight-shooter. He’s also a hoot – especially when I told him I was a secret shopper.

“Well I’ll be (darned),” he said, laughing.

I asked him what it was like to be a divorce attorney. 

“I like family law, but they drive me crazy!” he said. Why? “Clients don’t tell you the truth,” he laughed. ”People say they have their finances in order, but they often don’t.” 

When I asked him how many divorce cases he’s done, Tom replied, ”In the past five years – probably a thousand, maybe more.”  

Tom was looking for #1,001.

“I want your divorce! I want your divorce!” he called out to me, jokingly, as I walked out.

Here’s a snowball…

The guy should have his own TV show. We’ll start with The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, which you can hear him on, this Saturday morning, 8-9am on 1350 KRNT.

Overall: Tom is a down to earth, old-school, bigger-than-life attorney who’d be a blast to sit down and have a soda with.

Balduchi Law Firm

2801 Hubbell, Des Moines

Phone answered: “Law office.” (The phone greeting was a bit nondescript. It would benefit from some more information.)

I waited a bit in the lobby before the receptionist realized I was there. No problem. “Can I help you?” she asked. It’s especially important to ask an open-ended “How can I help you?” question when the person knows that the person they’re asking, has been waiting.

Soon I was greeted by Elizabeth Varnon, who shook my hand, used my name and invited me into a conference room.

Elizabeth soon began asking me questions about my situation, instead of simply describing the divorce process. That made her seem more compassionate. When I told her my wife wasn’t employed, and hadn’t been, she asked, “How come she doesn’t work?” in a slightly judgemental tone. Funny – I immediately felt like defending Jane, my pretend wife. A few minutes later, Elizabeth went the other way. “How is she taking it? How is she doing?” She was the only attorney to ask about my wife – awesome job!

Elizabeth maintained great eye contact as she thoroughly explained the divorce process.

“In Polk County, the courts want everything to be mediated,” she explained. “They don’t want to make it worse.” She also presented a secondary reason for mediation. “The judges get tired of hearing the same old crap.”

That seemed like a good time to tell her that my story was also crap-ola.

Elizabeth was sort of quiet at first, as she listened to me explain what I do (lie), where I do it (blog/radio show) and why (nobody really knows). She really began to get into it when I told her about all the good things she’d done, along with offering her a few ideas for making things even better.

Overall: Elizabeth is engaging, detail-driven, has a great sense of humor and knows her stuff.

Friday: Six more attorneys, including Kimberly Stamatelos, Richard Schmidt, Samantha Gronewald, Debra Hockett-Clark and more…

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday mornings 8-9am, on 1350, KRNT.       

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Facebook page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Twitter page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s blog    

Click to email Jonnie (jonnie@theunsecretshopper.com)    

Phone: 515-480-4190

Hello shoppers…

What does it take to be great at customer service?

During my six years as a customer service trainer, I’ve learned that great customer service generally comes from people who are:

1. Happy

2. Empathetic

3. Problem solvers

4. Driven to help people

5. Trained by a customer service trainer, who also wants to be an author when he grows up

With some gentle guidance, positive reinforcement, strong oversight and long-winded training sessions that rival The Reverend Jim Jones’ 36 hour marathon diatribes, happy, driven, empathetic problem solvers can become customer service rock stars.

Have you got what it takes to make it in Jonnie’s Rock n’ Roll Cavalcade of Customer Service All-Stars? Are you smarter than a minor blogger?

Yes, and yes.

To see how much smarter, check out the following test. It is given to all Buyosphere trainees at some point during their training. 300 employees have taken it. 6 have aced it, which is considered passing. All the smarty pants’ won money, which means there isn’t any to give you if you also get ‘em all right. 

Just know that, simply by taking it, you shall be rewarded - with the currency of my admiration.

All of the questions and answers are based upon my Pillars of Great Customer Service, and other Buyosphere training elements. Some employees think I wrote some of the questions immediately after falling down a flight of stairs. If you “beg to differ” with any answer and its subsequent justification, let me know. I will weep softy, and only to myself.

The Ultimate Customer Service Test

1. Which one of these is not a Pillar of Great Customer Service? (Check those that apply)

A. Empathize                     

B. Greet               

C. Follow up your shot for the rebound         

D. Thank

E. Smile                                

F. Nurture          

G. Shake hands                                                      

H. Give samples

ANSWER: A, C, F, G and H.

This is an easy one, if you see that naughty word, “not,” hiding in there. “Empathize,” “nurture,” “shake hands,” and “give sample” are all part of great customer service, but they’re not official Pillars. ”Follow up your shot for the rebound” is a pillar of great basketball, and is being ignored by the Hawkeyes.

2. Which Pillar(s) is/are not listed, above?

_____________________________________________________________________________________

ANSWER: This is a layup: “Engage,” “follow up” and “give chocolate.”

3. “Surgical shopping” is

A.  Shopping for a good surgeon

B. Shopping at a store because it has lower prices

C. Shopping for only what is needed and getting out of a store as fast as possible

D. Cutting through company red tape to talk to a manager

ANSWER: C.

If you chose  ”shopping for a good surgeon,” and happen to be, best of luck, and please avoid using Craigslist. The term “surgical shopping” was coined last year by the media, to describe the growing trend of shoppers avoiding “leisure” shopping, in favor of getting what they need and getting out of the store as fast as possible. That’s not good news for retailers, although I didn’t hear about much surgical shopping going on in December, when we rediscovered our shopping mojo, and our credit cards. Speaking of which – have you checked your mailbox lately? Me, neither. Me scared…

4. Our left brain controls

A. Our love of shopping

B. Our skills which we have learned

C. Our emotions

D. How fast the hair on the left side of our head, grows

ANSWER: B.

Which side of our brain controls our feelings? Which side controls our ability to process information? This is an easy one to forget. Here’s a difficult way to remember. Think of your head as a dinner plate; on the left side is cauliflower and spinach and green beans and brussels sprouts and other foods that should never be served without being smothered in Cheeze-whiz. On the (W)right side of your plate/head is pizza and Doritos and macaroni and cheese and cheeseburgers and candy bars and candy bars and the cheese-whiz.

Now you know.

5. Know that you know what you know, then…

A. Let people know what you don’t know

B. Forget everything you know

C. Let go

D. Worry about what you don’t know

ANSWER: C.

This confusing sentence and concept will be explained in #12.

6. Being ignored by employees while we shop is called

A. Derailing our reality

B. Denying our responsibility

C. Denying our reality

D. Walmart

ANSWER: C

“Denying our reality” is one of the reasons why online shopping has exploded. Why go to the trouble of getting in our cars and driving to a store, where we’re likely to be ignored by most of the employees we encounter, when we can bypass that dehumanizing, ”cattle-down-a-chute” transactional process altogether, and shop for stuff from the comfort of home, in front of our laptops?

7. An example of an open-ended question is

A. “Have you been helped?”

B. “I’m not sure. I could try to find it for you, if you’d like…?”

C. ”How can I help you?”

D. ”Did you find everything okay?”

ANSWER: C.

Asking open-ended questions – those that require something other than a “yes” or “no” answer – is one of the most important parts of my customer service training. Open-ended questions make the questioner sound like they care more about the answer, and require more thought from the answerer.

8. If a customer asks where something is, the most effective response is

A. ”Let me show you where it is.”

B. ”It’s over in (whichever aisle). Would you like me to show you?”

C. ”I don’t know. You’re so smart, you find it.”

D. ”Did you check in (whichever aisle)?”

ANSWER: A.

Like I tell trainees, don’t tell ‘em, show ‘em.

9. An example of an appropriate salutation is

A. “Whasss uuuuup?”

B. “You look lost.”

C. ”Hi! How are you?”

D. ”What can I get for you?”

ANSWER: C.

Sometimes the employees that I work with, jump to the open-ended “What can I help you with?” question before they’ve greeted a shopper with a salutation, or anything else. That’s understandable, since I constantly stress the importance of asking the open-ended question. I simply remind them that customers are people first, just like they are, so engage them like they would engage anyone else they are meeting for the first time. ”What can I get for you?” probably ain’t it.

10. Head on a swivel…

A. Look in their general direction, and wait for them to ask a question

B. Look them in the eye, and smile

C. Look out for approaching customers

D. Look at what you’re doing, and don’t look away

ANSWER: B.

This is one of the first concepts employees learn in customer service training. It addresses the problem of denying our reality, outlined in question 6. It acknowledges that employees are very busy people who are asked to do many tasks, but that the most important “task” is to engage customers.

11. A subject you can engage customers about is

A. Why they’re buying so many pizzas

B. Why they’re not smiling

C. The cool tats on their neck

D. Their Christmas plans

ANSWER: D.

In customer service training, I tell employees – particularly those who work at registers – to avoid engaging customers about four things: religion, politics, personal body art/piercings and their food purchases. All four of the above choices would seem, at first glance, to be on the “no ask” list. While this question presents a bit of a conundrum, I pick Christmas as the safest of the four. But Jonnie, doesn’t that violate your edict to avoid conversations about religion? No – because some people look at Christmas as having to do with Santa Claus and presents and Christmas trees and holiday specials and fruit cake, and not having to do with the birth of Christ. Besides, it’s the only choice that doesn’t violate the customer’s personal space – always a good call.  

12. The more time customers spend in a store

A. The more money they will spend

B. The more likely they will be to run into displays with their cart

C. The less money they will spend

D. The fewer open-ended questions they need to be asked

ANSWER: A.

Sure, ”B” might be more likely on certain sides of town, after 11pm. Otherwise, more shopper time spent in stores leads to more shopper money spent at the register.   

13. In Triangulation, the person doing the complaining is known as

A. The Secret Shopper

B. The pointy end of the triangle

C. The victim

D. The perpetrator

ANSWER: C.

Triangulation? What are you teaching, Jonnie? Customer service, or trig? Certainly not that second thing, since I flunked every math class I took after 9th grade, and just used “trig” because I can’t spell the rest of the word. One of the most destructive forces in the workplace is when co-workers complain to other co-workers, about other co-workers (or family members). This “triangulation” - complaining about someone who has hurt us, to everyone but the person who hurt us – can be a cancer, in both personal and professional relationships. To help dramatize this concept, I describe the following scenario: Your spouse lies to you. You call your mom and complain. You are now engaging in triangulation, by which you are the “victim,” complaining to the “hero,” or “savior,” your mom, about the “perpetrator,” your spouse. It’s particularly corrosive when the perpetrator finds out. “You went to your mother instead of me?” Now they are the victim and you’re the perpetrator. Doesn’t that sound like fun??? The lesson: Don’t go around the people who hurt you – go to them. And don’t be the person who listens to everyone’s complaints. Empower others to solve their own problems.

14. Shoppers shop in their

A. I

B. Pants

C. Left-brain

D. R

ANSWER: A.

This can be a challenging concept for some employees to grasp, but when they do, it can truly change their outlook on their relationships, at work and away from it. Simply put, our “I” is our individuality. It’s the most selfish part of who we are. It’s “me-me-me.” It’s who we are when no one else is around. Our “R” is our role. It’s our title – as “mother,” “brother,” “manager,” “spouse,” “friend,” “employee,” etc. It’s the most giving part of who we are. It’s who we are to everyone else but ourselves. We shop in our I. We serve in our R. And yes, hopefully we’re all also shopping fully clothed.

15. One of the two most important questions that determine every company’s longevity, loyalty and revenue, is

A. ”Did you find everything okay?”

B. ”Will you come back?”

C. ”What else can I help you with?”

D. ”How ‘bout them Cowboys?”

ANSWER: B.

This is, literally, the $1,000,000 retail question. Advertising gets us into a store once, which, frankly, is of almost no benefit to the store. Stores make their money on our return trips, and that is determined by our experience the last time we were there. The 2nd most important question: “Will you tell a friend, and what will you tell them?” In the 21st century, that means telling our “friend(s),” on Facebook, Twitter, txt, blog and via email – including the most (in)famous local email of all.

16. An example of the extra question is

A. “Did you find everything okay?”

B. ”Is there anything else I can get for you?”

C. ”What else can I get for you?”

D. ”Can I get this with extra mayo?”

ANSWER: C.  

This is my favorite question in retail. The more questions we ask, the more we appear to want to know about the person we’re asking i.e. the more we seem like we care about them. Since all retail is about problem-solving, it makes sense that each question an employee asks, gets them closer to solving the problem the customer brought in with them, to solve. Order-takers say “thank you” after they solve the shopper’s first problem. Professionals continue to search for more problems to solve. Staff a store with an army of problem solvers, and you’ll rule the business category.

17. The Engagement Pillar has two parts. They are

A. Salutation and open-ended question

B. Smile and greet

C. ”Thanks for shopping with us!” and “Have a great day!”

D. Professional/problem solving, and personal chit-chat

ANSWER: D.

The Engagement Pillar focuses on an employee’s professional problem-solving abilities (problems that were uncovered by asking the customer a series of open-ended questions), followed by personal chit-chat with that customer, which knocks down walls that exist between people who have never met (employee and customer).

18. What does question #5 mean?

A. Be confident that you know the skills of your job, and focus on taking care of your customers

B. Do not try to figure out everything at once – one problem at a time

C. Let go of the past, focus on the present, and prepare for the future

D. I’m still working on question number 4, bro

ANSWER: A.

Most of the tasks that employees do to do their jobs, are highly repetitive in nature: clean, file, stock, data entry, schedule, front, fold, ring up, cash out, wash, rinse, repeat. I could blindfold most employees who, after stumbling around a bit, could probably do their jobs with 80% accuracy. By telling employees that they “know what they know what they know, so let go,” I’m encouraging them to trust that they can accurately do the task-driven part of their jobs, and then to “let go” of it, to then be able to focus on sharing their warmth and love and compassion and empathy with customers. Anyone can learn how to do most anything in retail. But making people feel taken care of? That’s a talent that few possess.

19. Open-ended questions do everything but

A. Get customers to spend more

B. Make customers feel like you care

C. Get customers to think less

D. Help us figure out what the customer really needs

Answer: C.

This is obvious, unless you missed that sneaky “but” hiding at the end.

20. Story problem:

A customer approaches an employee who is stocking in an aisle. The employee looks up, smiles, says “Hi, how are you?” and “What can I get for you?” The customer says they’re looking for asparagus. The employee says, “Let me show you where it is” and takes them to the asparagus. The employee says, “Thank you! Have a great day!” while making eye contact with the customer, who says “I will. You, too!” and turns away.  

Is this, according to Buyosphere training, a perfect interaction between an employee and a customer? If not, what’s missing?

ANSWER: No.

It’s a pretty good interaction, but far from perfect. The employee should have asked the extra question: “What else can I help you with?” The employee should have attempted to up-sell, or what I refer to in training as ”up-help.”: “Just so you know, we have ribeye steaks on sale for $5.99 a pound, that would be absolutely delicious with that asparagus. I grilled one last night, and it was tender and delicious.” The employee could have also engaged in chit-chat: “How was your weekend? Has it stopped snowing yet? Have you been coming into the store for a while?”

How did you do? Do I owe you money?

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday mornings 8-9am, on 1350, KRNT.       

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Facebook page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Twitter page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s blog    

Click to email Jonnie (jonnie@theunsecretshopper.com)    

Phone: 515-480-4190

Hello shoppers…

Yes, we had some ice yesterday. There’s more on the way, possibly by Monday. BE CAREFUL OUT THERE! (No polar bears were harmed in the making of this pic.)

I hope your ears remain equally damage-free as you listen to today’s show.

The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show For Saturday January 15th, 2011 

(Left click to listen, right click to save, don’t click to not hear.)

Today’s show includes four, count ‘em, four, interviews with four incredibly dynamic people who are making a difference in people’s lives, every day.

I start the hour off with a conversation with Greg Grove, a wonderful friend and mentor, and my former Ballard High School choir teacher. Mr. Grove was mentioned in my post last week about the power of handwritten notes.

I also chat with Kirby Stolen, a very happy and hard-working Kum and Go employee in Des Moines and winner #10 in The Smile Project.

Lori Stiles, a customer service representative for Bank of The West, joins me to share her advice for creating customer loyalty.

I wind things up with John Ronca, principal at Ballard High School in Huxley, who talks about my favorite people in the world, teachers.

A wonderful quote from William Arthur Ward:

“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.”

May you both inspire, and be inspired this weekend.

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday mornings 8-9am, on 1350, KRNT.       

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Facebook page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Twitter page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s blog    

Click to email Jonnie (jonnie@theunsecretshopper.com)    

Phone: 515-480-4190

Hello shoppers…

A Re-enactment

It’s nearly “go” time for Terry Branstad to officially become Iowa’s 42nd Governor.

Old Governor Culver said a sweaty goodbye to the Iowa Legislature on Tuesday. Last second preparations are being made at St. Ambrose Cathedral, Hy-Vee Hall and Terrace Hill for new Governor Branstad’s inauguration festivities. He’ll be sworn in on Friday, and it’ll be smooth sledding from there.

Speaking of sledding, that reminds me of the day back on January 17th, 1993, when the Governor had his terrible sledding accident - almost 18 years ago today.

Speaking of accidents, that also reminds me of the day three years later when the Governor wasn’t sledding, but running, when he wiped out while trying to break a Pleasant Hill indoor human speed record that didn’t really exist.

Nobody but the select few who were there, know about this incident. Until today.

It was my fault.

Governor Branstad wasn’t running for re-election. (He’d just smoked Bonnie Campbell in the ’94 general race, and wouldn’t run in ’98.) Nobody was listening to my morning radio show on Young Country 98.3. (I’d once referred to the country music group Sawyer Brown as ”that guy.”)

I asked Branstad’s press secretary if Terry would appear on my radio show which, I assured him, was “one of the highest rated morning radio shows in Des Moines,” which was true when I took it over (7.8 rating) but not true when I made the request (2.3). He said yes – and forever changed the course of radio station sprinting history.

98.3′s broadcast studio (along with KJJY, and others) was in Pleasant Hill at the time. The Governor showed up that morning with his press secretary and his bodyguard – an Iowa State Patrolman who was somewhat shorter than the somewhat diminutive Gov, and that included the state trooper’s hat.

Governor Branstad was warm and engaging, and handled the questions of a politically illiterate show host, with aplomb.

I only had the Governor for 10 minutes. I began to wrap up our conversation…then stopped.

A really stupid idea (from a seemingly bottomless reservoir) suddenly hit me: I wonder if I can get the Governor to run a lap inside the building.

All of the radio stations’ staff and sales offices emptied into a square-shaped hallway. Nobody would confuse it with the mondo turf and gently banking turns of Drake Stadium’s track, but…

“Governor Branstad,” I began, “there’s a long-standing tradition on this radio show of having our in-studio guests run around inside the building as fast as they can while we time their run, and then write it on the wall behind you.”

He turned around, glanced at the blank white wall behind him, and turned back.

“Where are all the times?” he asked.

“Uh…no one has actually done well enough to warrant having their time posted,” I replied. Great save!

“Should I take my shoes off?”

OMG – he was actually going to do it.

I hooked up a wireless mic during a commercial break.

When we were back on the air, I handed it to the Governor. 

“Here,” I said. “This will give us a sense of being right alongside you as you run.”

He had a better idea. “My highway patrolman is always supposed to accompany me when I’m in public. Why don’t you give the mic to him, and he can run beside me, and do play-by-play?”

That’s when I fell for Terry Branstad.  

He would soon return the favor.

Governor Branstad removed his shoes. The patrolman kept his on. 

“Don’t slow me down,” the Governor warned him. 

Following international track and field standards, the men prepared to run through the building in a counter-clockwise direction. The Governor stood in the outside right “lane” (appropriately), the patrolman to his left. Both stood behind the imaginary “start” line created by the edge of the doorway entrance to 98.3′s studio.

Employees gathered in the doorways of their offices, along the race route. You could feel the electricity – and I’m not just writing and italicizing the words for comedic effect.

“On your mark!” I shouted, watching the second hand on the clock on the wall make its way around towards the “12.”

“Get set!…GO!”

Off they ran.

I was in the studio and couldn’t see anything. All I heard (along with 14 listeners) was the sound of the Governor’s rapid breathing, and the crowd exhorting him on. (The “play by play” man was apparently too lost in the moment to describe the action.)

4 seconds…5 seconds…it seemed like it was taking forever. I wondered if the Gov had signaled his patrolman to head out the front door, and into their waiting patrol car.

Then, the two men appeared, coming around the final turn like a slow-motion scene from Chariots Of Fire.

Except these two were hooking nut.

The “finish line” was the entrance to the 98.3 studio. Terry was running hard, and obviously serious about “breaking the tape” in “record time.” 

There was a slight wooden lip at the base of the studio’s doorway entrance frame, a lip that I’d stumbled over several times – and that was while walking, and wearing shoes.

At the end, the Governor tried to pull up, but sort of slipped and tripped at the same time, going down hard on his back, rear-end over tea-kettle.

I thought he’d broken something.

The patrolman immediately reached down to help up the Governor, but he would have none of it. Brandstad bounced up like he was on a spring, brushed off his backside and said the obvious.

“The socks worked great, until I tried to stop.”

He turned towards the patrolman. “You were slowing me down.”

Governor Branstad’s time was 9.4 seconds. He wrote it on the Wall of Times, along with his signature.

Every in-studio guest from that point forward – from rodeo cowboys to recording stars – would make the run, and record their time.

Nobody ever beat Governor Branstad. There, or anywhere else.

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday mornings 8-9am, on 1350, KRNT.       

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Facebook page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Twitter page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s blog    

Click to email Jonnie (jonnie@theunsecretshopper.com)    

Phone: 515-480-4190

Hello shoppers…

In the amount of time it will take you to read this sentence, over 19.6 million emails and 300,000 texts will be sent, worldwide.

3 notes will also be written, by hand.

Computer makers, phone makers and service providers like these numbers. The dude who makes pens, pencils and paper must feel like Mel Gibson’s agent.

I hate writing notes; not because I hate writing them, but because my handwriting looks like Mel Gibson wrote it after a bender. (Sorry. I loved MG until the allegations of abuse surfaced.)

Emails and texts are a necessity. They make communicating easier and faster and more convenient. But handwritten notes (the positive ones) feel like a gift, precisely because they’re harder and slower and less convenient to write, and deliver. When we get an email, we read it. When we receive a message written by another’s hand, we feel it. A text is a trip through a McDonald’s drive-thru. A handwritten note is dinner at 801 Steak and Chop House.

Below are some examples of fine dining I’ve enjoyed (and not so much) over the years, along with a few meals I’ve made, er, written myself. You’ll also see some standard type-set correspondence that could have used a quick handwritten comment, and some ideas on what could have been written.

I received this letter, along with the very thoughtful note from Tracey, after co-hosting a fundraising event for a local Public TV Station on Long Island, in 1999. She didn’t have to write anything, which is exactly what made her note so special. I look at the VHS tape of that event now - me lumbering around the set with my 300 pound frame, clowning like a very poor man’s Jerry Lewis -  and I wonder why this wasn’t a complaint letter from WLIW’s attorney.

THERE’S a complaint letter!

Forgive the blurry image. I got this letter after I’d interviewed Dr. Lipshultz during a radio show I used to host in Des Moines. The Texas doctor was an expert on a very popular blue pill made by Pfizer. I was a 37-year-old washed-up DJ going through a midlife crisis, broadcasting live on an FM radio station at 10pm on a Saturday night, trying to engage Dr. Lipshultz coherently, while a tattoo of a grand piano in flames was drilled into my forearm, at The Skin Kitchen. Nobody confused the interview with Ted Koppel and Mikhail Gorbachev. The terse letter could have benefited from a quick note: Hope you enjoy the free enclosed sample!

25 years before the “interview,” in 1977, my 5th grade teacher, Marjorie Griffith, recognized that the chubby, curly-haired underachiever who sat in the back row of her Cambridge Elementary classroom, was nothing but trouble. Her handwritten note on the first page of my Report on France was a foreshadowing of a lifetime of re-do’s.

The news didn’t get better, the further you went into the thin Report. Note the horribly sarcastic tone of her note. How do you think that would fly today, parents?

Apparently the re-do, in ink and with a marginally more detailed map, did the trick. Vive le France.

Lori mailed this wonderful and unexpected thank you card to me about a month ago. It also dovetailed with a similar comment Lori made to me at the drive-thru. Yes, it’s business. Yes, it’s her job. But when someone is thoughtful enough to make such a nice comment and follow it up with a personal note, they are transcending the employee-customer relationship. I’ll never bank anywhere else. Thank you, Lori!

I had chest pains back in 2001, and only waited a year before I ended up in an emergency room, where the above EKG suggested I was suffering from Anteroseptal Infarction, which is a scary way to say that part of my heart is dead, which is actually scarier, so I’m glad they went with the other thing. They should have followed Lori’s lead (previous note), and added a nicely handwritten note: It was great to see you in the ER on Saturday. We just want to say thank you again for not dying on the exam table. We know you have many options for your heart attack needs, and we are happy you have chosen to be diagnosed by us. Thanks!

Nearly 20 years before the EKG, Greg Grove, a very dear man and the Ballard High School Choir teacher at the time was wrapping his soothing hands around my 18 year-old heart. Of all his kind words in this very special letter, it’s his final sentence that resonated the most. It was the first time that anyone had said those four words to me.

Okay, guilty as charged. But hey, how about a little positive feedback in a handwritten note on the side? Something like: You’re a great driver, kid.

The positive reinforcement this man was seeking with his stylish handwritten sign, outside Yankee Stadium in 1997, was through the smiling faces of dead presidents. That was also the only year between ’96 and 2000 that the dreaded Yankees didn’t win the World Series. I’d like to think my $5 contribution to the sign holder played some small part.

Money was also the likely purpose of this handwritten document (some numbers and last names have been erased) which, in 1987, was my mom’s record of every phone call she made. I wasn’t sure why she made the detailed list, since she lived alone in her trailer, in 1987. I grabbed a pen when she wasn’t home and wrote a pretend entry for the 17th, in her name, followed by what I still think are some amusing observations. Mom wasn’t.

I wrote a letter to President Nixon in 1974, suggesting some solutions to the growing energy crisis – which probably included shorter 4th grade school days. I freaked out when I received a response card in the mail. Okay, it wasn’t specifically from the Pres. But just knowing that he was giving my suggestions “careful consideration” was enough for me, although a quick Great idea, dude! Let me record that so I remember it! – R. Nixon would have been nice. The envelope the card came in is postmarked February 15th, 1974. Ironically enough, on that same day, seven states plus Washington D.C. adopted an “odd-even” gas rationing system: people whose license plate number ended with an odd number could only purchase gas on odd-numbered dates.

I think shorter school days would have been easier.

I have a beautifully illustrated hard-cover book called The Complete Cow. I don’t know why. Many of the 100′s of photos of photogenic cows are accompanied by funny captions written by friends, most of which I can’t show you. Here’s one that’s family blog-reading friendly.

This is the handwritten note I cherish most. My mom wrote it in the late 80′s, after we’d laughed uncontrollably at something silly. We had fewer of these moments together as I became more angry and distant, and her mental illness became more pronounced. Those we did share, stand out in my mind like blue ink on white paper.

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday mornings 8-9am, on 1350, KRNT.       

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Facebook page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Twitter page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s blog    

Click to email Jonnie (jonnie@theunsecretshopper.com)    

Phone: 515-480-4190

Hello shoppers…

To paraphrase The Beatles, here comes the snow and, depending on your point of view, it may or may not be alright.

That’s why I’m a radio show host and not a lyricist. Speaking of which…

The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show for Saturday January 8th, 2011 

(Left click to listen, right click to download, don’t click to not hear.)

Today’s show includes a blizzard of feedback from the Secret Shopper review of Des Moines auto repair shop scheduling portals, Part 1 and Part 2.

I also talk with Troy Dolph, a customer service stud muffin at Cottman Auto Care on Hickman, and one of the (un)sung heroes of the review.

We switch gears (gently, because that’s what our tranny would want) and talk about the difference between trailers, manufactured homes and modular homes with Bob Jones, owner of R and J Home Center on Army Post Road.

My last stop is with Bruce Anderson, general counsel for the Iowa Auto Dealers Association, who talks about how local auto dealers maintain good customer service in their service departments.

They (meaning John Mclaughlin) say the approaching snow may pile up to eight inches in Central Iowa by Tuesday. We’ll deal with it then.

For now, all we know is that the snow shovel is resting comfortably in the garage, the sun is out and the weekend is smiling at us.

I’m smiling back. Hope you are, too.

See you back here on Monday.

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday mornings 8-9am, on 1350, KRNT.       

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Facebook page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s Twitter page    

Click to be taken to Jonnie’s blog    

Click to email Jonnie (jonnie@theunsecretshopper.com)    

Phone: 515-480-4190

Hello shoppers…

Unless you own a car hoist (or a Prius, which weighs about as much as a Hot Wheel, and I know because I own both vehicles) you probably can’t see your car from the above POV.

That means you probably depend on an auto repair shop (or two) to fix your car when things need fixing. You may even use their websites to schedule the service.

That’s what I did - posing as ”Carol Hartog,” a dude with an aging Saturn and a lot of time to kill. I/he scheduled service at 29 Des Moines area auto repair shops, using their website scheduling portals. Yesterday’s Part 1 review covered 14 shops. Today’s review looks at the other 15.

Besides imputing the data the portals asked for - make/model of car, service needed, dates/times desired, email address and phone number (I created an email address for Carol, and submitted my own cell phone number) – I also sent these additional comments:

I’ve got a 2001 Saturn that’s been having major transmission problems, and need a quote on a replacement tranny. Also need 4 new tires – please include these in a quote. Thank you.

Carol Hartog

Service for the shops featured yesterday was scheduled back on Monday, December 27th. Service for the shops in today’s review was scheduled on Friday, December 31st.

Since I train this customer service stuff, including with the employees of Westside Auto Pros, an auto repair shop in Clive (that was featured in yesterday’s review), I have a very strong idea of how fast the response should come, and how it should be worded.

Here’s what a perfect email response looks like, and why (from yesterday’s post):

Hi Carol!

Thank you for scheduling service with us!

We can definitely help you with your transmission problem, and take care of your tire needs. Which day would work best – Monday or Tuesday morning? We have a free shuttle service and can take you to and from work while your car is being worked on, or we also have free pick-up and delivery. Let me know which day and time works best, either via email or you can call me directly at 555-5555.

Thank you for choosing Westside Auto Pros! We look forward to seeing you next week!

Jonnie Wright

Master Customer Happy Care Empathetic Expert Uber-Mothering Specialist

Westside Auto Pros

The opening “hi” line is happy and informal and personalized, so the recipient feels like it was a person who wrote it, not a response bot. The second “thank you” paragraph expresses how thankful the writer is that the customer reached out to them. The third paragraph immediately allays the customer’s fears: “We can help you with that!” The next sentence empowers the customer by giving them options. It also asks the customer a question, and questions draw us in and make us feel like the person asking them, cares. The “shuttle” sentence displays a desire to make it as easy as possible for the customer, plus brands services that the customer may not be aware of. The “call me directly” line tells the customer that this person is taking ownership of their satisfaction. The next paragraph thanks the customer again (kill ‘em with kindness) and expresses enthusiasm for seeing the customer. The signature is ridiculous.

The perfect phone interaction mirrors the email. The perfect duration for receiving a response (phone or email) after requesting service, using an online portal, is two hours.

That’s what I’m looking for. Let us see what I got.

Aamco Total Car Care

(sent into their corporate portal)

Request submitted: Friday 8:40am

Response received (email): Monday 8:41am

Dear Customer:  Since each AAMCO center is independently owned and operated, prices will vary.  Please contact your nearest AAMCO center by dialing 1-800-GO-AAMCO for more information.  AAMCO Customer Relations.

From: webmaster@aamcoupdates.com [mailto:webmaster@aamcoupdates.com]
Sent: Friday, December 31, 2010 9:39 AM
To: aacr.mail@rcn.com; fbu@pwmedia.com; cr.mail
Subject: Contact us – Regarding AAMCO Services

The Topic Area of the Message was: Services

The other Topic Area of the Message was:

The Customer comments were: I’ve got a 2001 Saturn that’s having major transmission problems, and need a quote on a replacement tranny. Also needs 4 new tires – please include those in a quote. Thank you. Carol Hartog

The Name of the customer was: Carol Hartog

The Customer e-mail was: hartogcarol@yahoo.com

Comments: “Dear customer” is not the most customer-friendly way to start an email written by someone from “customer relations,” especially when they had Carol’s name. There’s a lot of stuff in this email that doesn’t matter to the customer receiving it. There’s also no thank you. If this email was generated by an auto-bot, it was a slow-moving auto-bot. If it was written by a human being, they should prove it, by writing it in a more friendly way.

Bob Brown Chevrolet

4224 Merle Hay Road

Request submitted: Friday 8:53am

Response received (email): Friday 12:11pm

Carol,

I need the vin # off your Saturn to price you a transmission.

Please reply.

Thank you.

Comments: The email starts with Carol’s name, which is good. It’s polite, also good. It’s to the point, to the point of feeling like the person who wrote it was busy, and in a hurry. There was no signature – the only way I know this was from Bob Brown is because of the email address it came from: boblundy@bobbrownauto.com. That seems weird for a large dealership.

Charles Gabus Ford

4545 Merle Hay Road, Des Moines

Request submitted: Friday 9:20am

Response received (automated email): Friday 9:20am

Thank you for requesting a service appointment with Charles Gabus Ford.

You have requested the following appointment:

DATE: 01/03/2011, 
TIME: 8:00 AM
VEHICLE: 2001 Saturn Vue.

We will contact you via Cell Phone as soon as possible to confirm your requested service date and time. Please note that your requested appointment is not guaranteed
until you have received final confirmation. Thank you for your business and we look forward to serving you in the near future.

Sincerely,
Charles Gabus Ford
www.gabusford.com

Response received (phone): Friday 9:35am 

Comments: I love the personalized auto email response. It’s stronger than some written by actual people.  As for the phone call, Lowell was doing great, until his crack about “This doesn’t sound like a Carol.” You never want to make a judgement about someone’s name or voice or gender or anything – that’s a bad road to go down. Lowell did a nice job trying to diagnose the transmission problem, and explaining why he couldn’t work on it. He was apologetic. But he also neglected to mention the tires that I’d requested, which he does have. He also directed me to a direct competitor, which I think is a very bad idea for any business.

Des Moines Imports

1650 SE 37th, Grimes

Request submitted: Friday 9:15am

Response received (automated email): Friday 9:16

Thank you for requesting a service appointment with Des Moines Imports Mitsubishi.

You have requested the following appointment:

DATE: 01/03/2011, 
TIME: 8:00 AM
VEHICLE: 2001 Saturn Vue.

We will contact you via Email as soon as possible to confirm your requested service date and time. Please note that your requested appointment is not guaranteed
until you have received final confirmation. Thank you for your business and we look forward to serving you in the near future.

Sincerely,
Des Moines Imports Mitsubishi
www.dsmmitsu.com

Response received (email): Friday 11:54am

Carol,

What size tires does you Vue have ?

Let us know
—– Original Message —– From: “DI Website Leads” <dlrleads@di-web3.net>
To: <larry@desmoinesimports.com>
Sent: Friday, December 31, 2010 9:15 AM

> contact_guid :
> firstName : Carol
> lastName : Hartog
> phone : 515-480-4190
> email : hartogcarol@yahoo.com
> eveningPhone :
> cellPhone :
> company :
> contact_me : Email
> :
> dateTime : 01/03/2011
> hour : 8
> minute : 00
> prefix : AM
> service_advisor :

> serviced_before : No
> vehicleYear : 2001

> formType : 5AC45716-F787-E7D9-0461-595E8B8E21C6
> leadSource : DI Service Request
>
> Site Name: Des Moines Imports Mitsubishi

Comments: Great automated email – same as Charles Gabus Ford. The email written by a human wasn’t as strong. And there’s no reason that all that extra computer-generated text has to be sent along with the 11 words written by the sender – whoever it was, since there’s no signature.

Dewey Ford

3055 SE Delaware, Ankeny

Request submitted: Friday 9:02am

Response received: NO RESPONSE

Firestone Complete Auto Care

1650 22nd Street West Des Moines

Request submitted: Friday 8:22am

Response received (automated email): Friday 9:35am

Online Schedule Confirmation
Dear Carol Hartog, Thank you for choosing Firestone Complete Auto Care by Firestone’s Online Appointment Center Site to schedule an appointment for your 2001 Saturn L100, Default for the following services:   Service Information:    Tire Replacement Maintenance Comments: Ive got a 2001 Saturn thats having major transmission problems, and need a quote on a replacement tranny. Also needs 4 new tires – please include those in a quote. Thank you. Carol Hartog       This is to confirm your appointment for: Jan 3 2011 8:00AM     Wait or Drop Off: I will leave my vehicle.   Location:    Firestone Complete Auto Care Store 1650 22Nd St W Des Moines, IA 50266-1407   After receiving this confirmation, should your appointment need to be rescheduled or cancelled, please notify us by replying to this email or phoning the store directly at (515) 225-8160 .Thank you, Firestone Complete Auto Care           Original Submission    The individual below has submitted an Online Appointment request:    Carol Hartog 1127 11th Street West Des Moines, IA 50265 Daytime phone:(515) 480-4190 Evening phone:(515) 480-4190 Cell phone: Email Address:hartogcarol@yahoo.com     Vehicle Information:    2001 Saturn L100 Approximate Mileage:90000   Service Information:    Tire Replacement Maintenance Comments: Ive got a 2001 Saturn thats having major transmission problems, and need a quote on a replacement tranny. Also needs 4 new tires – please include those in a quote. Thank you. Carol Hartog     Store Information:    Firestone Complete Auto Care Store 1650 22Nd St W Des Moines, IA 50266-1407 (515) 225-8160

Comments: The email is informative, but it feels like no human hands touched it. Great customer service comes from humans sharing emotions, not computers sharing data.

Firestone Complete Auto Care

4323 Fleur Drive, Des Moines

Request submitted: Friday 8:25am

Response received: NO RESPONSE

Hummels Nissan

4770 Merle Hay Road, Des Moines

Request submitted: Friday 10:12am (The most detailed scheduling process of all the portals, it also asks you to register and log in, by creating a username and password.)

Response received (automated email): Friday 10:15am

		ACCOUNT REGISTRATION
	Carol Hartog Iowa HOME: (515) 480-4190YOU’RE REGISTERED TO MAKE VEHICLE SERVICE APPOINTMENTS ONLINE Dear Carol Hartog,Welcome to Nissan and thank you for creating your new online account.Username:     carolhartogPlease remember this information, as you will be prompted for it every time you log on to your account. Next time you need to schedule a service appointment you can easily log on to your account and set it up at your convenience.To access and make changes to your account, please visit us at My Account Sincerely, HUMMELS NISSAN (515) 251-8130 HUMMELS NISSAN 4770 Merle Hay Road ? Urbandale, Iowa 50322Please Note: This is an automated message. Please do not reply to it.

Response received (automated email): Friday 10:16am

		APPOINTMENT CONFIRMATION
	Carol Hartog Iowa
	APPOINTMENT CONFIRMATION Thank you for booking your service appointment online.This is to confirm your service appointment with HUMMELS NISSAN for your OTHER OTHER on 01/03/2011 08:15 AM for the following services:Repair Services: Tell Us More Note: Repair times and costs vary based upon the nature of the repair, parts availability, your warranty status, and other factors. Once your vehicle is in the shop, we will diagnose your problem and contact you as soon as we can to provide details and specific time and cost estimate. Diagnostic and/or repair fees may apply if work to be performed is not covered under warranty. Your appointment confirmation code is EL90D95G0T If you need to reschedule this appointment, click Appointment Details. Visit us at http://nissan.xtime.com/40006 for your general appointment taking needs. We look forward to seeing you. If you have any questions, please contact us using the information listed below. Sincerely, HUMMELS NISSAN (515) 251-8130 Directions: 4770 Merle Hay Road ? , Urbandale, Iowa – 50322 Map: Map to Dealership HUMMELS NISSAN 4770 Merle Hay Road ? Urbandale, Iowa 50322 Please Note: This is an automated message. Please do not reply to it.

Inline Attachment Follows: Service_Appointment.vcs

BEGIN:VCALENDAR
METHOD:PUBLISH
VERSION:1.0
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART:20110103T141500Z
DTEND:20110103T223000Z
LOCATION;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:4770 Merle Hay Road ?  , Urbandale, Iowa, 50322,
SUMMARY;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:HUMMELS NISSAN Service Appointment
DESCRIPTION;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Your detailed appointment information is as follows: =0D=0A=0D=0ADealership Info: =0D=0A  HUMMELS NISSAN =0D=0A  http://nissan.xtime.com/40006” target=_blank >http://nissan.xtime.com/40006=0D=0A=0D=0AAppointment Info: =0D=0AAdvisor: Jamie Widen =0D=0AConfirmation Code: EL90D95G0T =0D=0A=0D=0ACustomer Info: =0D=0A          Name: Carol Hartog =0D=0A  Phone Numbers: HOME: (515) 480-4190 =0D=0A=0D=0AVehicle Info: =0D=0A  2001, OTHER, OTHER =0D=0A=0D=0A=0D=0AService Info: =0D=0A=0D=0ARepair Service(s): =0D=0ATell Us More=0D=0A=0D=0A=0D=0AThanks for using Xtime’s ServiceCRM! =0D=0A=0D=0A
STATUS:CONFIRMED
PRIORITY:3
END:VEVENT
END:VCALENDAR

Response received (automated email): Saturday 9:58am

		APPOINTMENT REMINDER
	Carol Hartog Iowa
	APPOINTMENT REMINDERConfirmation Code:    EL90D95G0T Date and Time:        01/03/2011 08:15 AM Vehicle:                  2001 OTHER OTHER VIN Number:             Dear Carol Hartog,This is an automated appointment reminder for your 01/03/2011 08:15 AM service appointment. Thank you for taking the time to schedule your appointment in advance as we appreciate your patronage.The following services are scheduled:Repair Services: Driveability Concern Note: Repair times and costs vary based upon the nature of the repair, parts availability, your warranty status, and other factors. Once your vehicle is in the shop, we will diagnose your problem and contact you as soon as we can to provide details and specific time and cost estimate. Diagnostic and/or repair fees may apply if work to be performed is not covered under warranty. Notes: WEB APPT CREATED 2010-12-31 10:15:24AM TAKEN BY CAROL HA RTOG Click here (Appointment Details) to manage your appointment directly. Visit us at http://nissan.xtime.com/40006 for your general appointment taking needs. We look forward to seeing you. If you have any questions, please contact us using the information listed below. Thanks for using our online scheduling solution! Sincerely, HUMMELS NISSAN (515) 251-8130 Directions: 4770 Merle Hay Road ? , Urbandale, Iowa – 50322 Map: Map to Dealership HUMMELS NISSAN 4770 Merle Hay Road ? Urbandale, Iowa 50322 Please Note: This is an automated message. Please do not reply to it.

Inline Attachment Follows: Service_Appointment.vcs

BEGIN:VCALENDAR
METHOD:PUBLISH
VERSION:1.0
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART:20110103T141500Z
DTEND:20110103T223000Z
LOCATION;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:4770 Merle Hay Road ?  , Urbandale, Iowa, 50322,
SUMMARY;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:HUMMELS NISSAN Service Appointment
DESCRIPTION;ENCODING=QUOTED-PRINTABLE:Your detailed appointment information is as follows: =0D=0A=0D=0ADealership Info: =0D=0A  HUMMELS NISSAN =0D=0A  http://nissan.xtime.com/40006” target=_blank >http://nissan.xtime.com/40006=0D=0A=0D=0AAppointment Info: =0D=0AAdvisor: Jamie Widen =0D=0AConfirmation Code: EL90D95G0T =0D=0ANote: WEB APPT CREATED 2010-12-31 10:15:24AM TAKEN BY CAROL HA RTOG =0D=0A=0D=0ACustomer Info: =0D=0A          Name: Carol Hartog =0D=0A  Phone Numbers: HOME: (515) 480-4190 =0D=0A=0D=0AVehicle Info: =0D=0A  2001, OTHER, OTHER =0D=0A=0D=0A=0D=0AService Info: =0D=0A=0D=0ARepair Service(s): =0D=0ADriveability Concern=0D=0A=0D=0A=0D=0AThanks for using Xtime’s ServiceCRM! =0D=0A=0D=0A
STATUS:CONFIRMED
PRIORITY:3
END:VEVENT
END:VCALENDAR

Comments: I like the email reminder on Saturday. But three email confirmations for one scheduled service? It’s overkill, and unnecessary, as is all the data gibberish at the end of the 2nd and 3rd emails. There’s a distinct feeling that no actual person took a look at Carol’s issues. Maybe that’s because all three emails included this warning: ”This is an automated message. Please do not reply to it.” Where’s the personal touch? 

Karl Chevrolet

1101 SE Oralabor Road, Ankeny

Request submitted: Friday 9:05am

Response received (automated email): Friday 9:06am

Thank you for requesting a service appointment with Karl Chevrolet.

You have requested the following appointment:

DATE: 01/03/2011, 
TIME: 8:00 AM
VEHICLE: 2011 Saturn Vue.

We will contact you via Email as soon as possible to confirm your requested service date and time. Please note that your requested appointment is not guaranteed
until you have received final confirmation. Thank you for your business and we look forward to serving you in the near future.

Sincerely,
Karl Chevrolet
www.karlchevrolet.com

Response received (email): Friday 9:43am

We will be happy to try to help you with this request.
For the transmission quote we will just be close, as we will not know for sure until the vehicle is seen in our Service Dept and technically diagnosed.
And for the tires, we just need to know what size brand and style you would like, and then we will be able to get you prices.

Thanks for choosing Karl Chevrolet, we look forward to working with you, and will be waiting on the tire info to get you quotes.

Sincerely,
Cheryl Schoof

—–Original Message—–
From: DI Website Leads [mailto:dlrleads@di-web3.net]
Sent: Friday, December 31, 2010 9:05 AM
To: serviceleads
Subject: Website Lead: Service Appointment Request

contact_guid :
firstName : Carol
lastName : Hartog
phone : 515-480-4190
email : hartogcarol@yahoo.com
eveningPhone :
cellPhone :
company :
contact_me : Email
:
dateTime : 01/03/2011
hour : 8
minute : 00
prefix : AM
service_advisor :
serviced_before :
vehicleYear : 2011
vehicleManufacturer : Saturn
vehicleVin :
vehicleModel : Vue
work_done : Other
other :
comment : I’ve got a 2001 Saturn that’s having major transmission problems, and need a quote on a replacement tranny. Also needs 4 new
tires – please include those in a quote. Thank you.

Carol Hartog
formType : 1B619B46-EC10-11DA-9B41-B622A1EF5492
leadSource : DI Service Request

Site Name: Karl Chevrolet

Comments: Karl Chevrolet is using the same software as Charles Gabus Ford/Des Moines Imports. The automated email response is great. The human response from Cheryl was equally strong. She addressed Carol by name, used that powerful “We can help you with that” type of phrase, right out of the gate, and added a nice “would be happy to,” which I’m going to steal. Cheryl’s language is soft, inviting and thankful – awesome job! There were some sentence separation issues. And get rid of that impersonal junk after Cheryl’s wonderfully personal email. Make it clean, like the automated one.  

Midas

2010 Ingersoll, Des Moines

Request submitted: Friday 10:05am (Upon submission, the site flashes a message: “”A Midas representative will respond to you within the next 1 business hour.”)

Response received (automated email): Friday 10:05am

To ensure future delivery of emails, please add midascustomercare@mymidasmail.com to your address book or safe sender list

COUPONS AND OFFERS | MIDAS SERVICES | AUTO EDUCATION | SAFETY TIPS | MIDAS GUARANTEE

SOMEONE FROM THIS SHOP WILL RESPOND TO YOUR REQUEST WITHIN 1 BUSINESS HOUR(S).

Contact information for this shop is provided below for your convenience.

Midas Des Moines 2010 Ingersoll Avenue Des Moines, IA 50312 515-243-1253Hours of service Monday – Friday 7:00AM – 5:30PM, Saturday 8:00AM – 5:00PM, Sunday Closed Shop Page Driving Directions

Response received (phone): Friday 11:03am

Jeff: “Hi this is Jeff from Midas, I’m looking for Carol.” (This is he.) “I could probably find a transmission for you and swap it out but as far as transmission work, I’d suggest a transmission place, like All Drive Transmissions on MLK Drive. It’s cheaper to take it to a transmission shop. Don’t get me wrong, I want your business, a dollar’s a dollar.” (I laugh.) “As far as the tires go, what size are they?” (I tell him they’re 205′s.)  I can do four for $465. There’s a better tire for $524.” (Let’s go with the more expensive ones.) “Let me check availability and email you back. I’m actually a roving manager and only here one day a week. Tom wil be here on Monday and get you fixed up. I’ll email you back. Thank you.” 

Comments: This automated email response was the most colorful of all I received. It’s also the best marketing piece, focusing on emotions rather than details. Jeff got back to me within an hour, as the automated email promised – awesome! He was very personable on the phone, although he didn’t attempt to diagnose my transmission problem; he just assumed that I knew that I needed a new one. That had him directing me to a transmission shop, which may not sell tires but might know someone who sells them cheaper than Jeff’s quote. I’m always leery of giving customers a reason to shop elsewhere. Jeff gave me the least expensive quote first – I might have started with the most expensive, since it’s always better (and easier) to negotiate down, rather than up. Jeff thanked me at the end, but didn’t email me back, as promised.

Midas

1690 NW 86th Street, Clive

Request submitted: Friday 10:07am (The same message appears as when I scheduled the above Midas appointment: “A Midas representative will respond to you within the next 1 business hour.”)

Response received (automated email): Friday 10:07am

To ensure future delivery of emails, please add midascustomercare@mymidasmail.com to your address book or safe sender list

COUPONS AND OFFERS | MIDAS SERVICES | AUTO EDUCATION | SAFETY TIPS | MIDAS GUARANTEE

SOMEONE FROM THIS SHOP WILL RESPOND TO YOUR REQUEST WITHIN 1 BUSINESS HOUR(S).

Contact information for this shop is provided below for your convenience.

Midas Clive 1690 Northwest 86th Street Clive, IA 50325 515-226-1199 Hours of service Monday – Friday 7:30AM – 6:00PM, Saturday 8:00AM – 5:00PM, Sunday Closed Shop Page Driving Directions

Response received (email): Friday 4:32pm

I received your email  and we can look at your car on Monday morning no problem.  We can easily provide you with an estimate on tires.  We do not rebuild transmissions ourselves but if you need a replacement transmission we can certainly help you with that.  Thanks
Rich Wright Jr.
Midas / ASE, Inc.
1690 NW 86th St.
Clive, Iowa 50325
Phone 515-226-1199
Fax    515-226-1232

________________________________

From: MidasCustomerCare@mymidasmail.com [mailto:MidasCustomerCare@mymidasmail.com]
Sent: Fri 12/31/2010 10:09 AM
To: MIDAS55@MidasAse.com; RussGibson@MidasAse.com
Subject: Book Appointment Dealer Email

FirstName: Carol
LastName: Hartog
ApptRequestDate: 3-Jan-2011
ApptRequestTime: 07:30 AM – 09:30 AM
ServiceRequested: transmission work and 4 new tires
Make: Saturn
Model: Vue
Year: 2001
Symptoms: I’ve got a 2001 Saturn that’s having major transmission problems, and need a quote on a replacement tranny. Also needs 4 new tires – please include those in a quote. Thank you. Carol Hartog
EmailAddress: hartogcarol@yahoo.com
Phone: 515-480-4190
ShopNumber: 2185
ShopPhone: 515-226-1199
ShopEmail: midas55@midasase.com
ShopNotifyVoice: F
ShopNotifyFax: F

**************************************************
This e-mail and any of its attachments may contain Auto Systems Experts Inc. proprietary information, which is privileged, confidential, or subject to copyright belonging to the Auto Systems Experts Inc. family of Companies. This e-mail is intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to which it is addressed. If you are not the intended recipient of this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution, copying, or action taken in relation to the contents of and attachments to this e-mail is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful. If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify the sender immediately and permanently delete the original and any copy of this e-mail and any printout. Thank You. **************************************************

Response received (phone) Tuesday 9:32am

Rich: “We missed your Monday appointment. How is the car running?” (Great – a friend fixed it.) “Let us know if we can help you with anything else. Thank you.”

Comments: Rich missed the “get back to you in 1 hour” promise by five hours, but his email was kind. (Add Carol’s name at the beginning, Rich!) He was also the only service advisor who followed up with me after I missed my scheduled appointment. Awesome job!

Stew Hansens Dodge

12103 Hickman Road, Urbandale

Request submitted: Friday 8:59am (I attempted to use their online portal, but it only offered Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep for “make of car.” I emailed the service request directly to Mike Golwitzer, Service Manager.)

Response received (email): Friday 11:11am

Hello this is Chip at Stew Hansens. I was getting back to you with the estimate you requested for your vehicle. I was wondering if you had teh whole vin number , all 17 digits, so I can make a more accurate estimate. This will tell me what engine size, transmission type, year make and model then I can get you a more exact estimate. On the tires do you happen to have a brande name in mind and also are you wanting oem replacement and waht size might the tires be? If you can get me that inbformation I can work up an exact estimate.

Thanks again.

Chip Pearson

Service Advisor

Stew Hansens Dodge

Direct Line: 515-202-7614

Comments: Chip was quick – he got back to me in under two hours. His email was polite, and helpful. He didn’t mention Carol’s name, which can really personalize an email. It also needs a once-over with spell check. And I don’t know what “oem” is – but I’m sure it’s important.

Stivers Ford Lincoln

1450 East Hickman, Waukee

Request submitted: Friday 9:10am (There was no apparent scheduling portal, so I sent a direct request to Scott Passage, Service Manager.)

Response received (email): Friday 10:30am

Carol, could you please provide a VIN# for the vehicle as parts department will need to price correct transmission and tire prices. Thanks

Comments: That’s it? I know this is from Scott only because of the email address it came from – there’s no signature, and this email could use one. It also would be helped by more pleasantries. I realize that Scott is probably very busy. But if a customer takes the time to email an employee directly, then that employee should take the time to make that customer feel good about doing so. Transcend the transaction. Consumers deserve it, and will reward those companies that do so.

Tires Plus

3130 Merle Hay Road

Request submitted: Friday 8:30am

Response received (automated email): Friday 8:35am

Online Schedule Confirmation
Dear Carol Hartog, Thank you for choosing Tires Plus Total Car Care by Tires Plus’s Online Appointment Center Site to schedule an appointment for your 2001 Saturn L100, Default for the following services:   Service Information:    Tire Replacement Maintenance Comments: Ive got a 2001 Saturn thats having major transmission problems, and need a quote on a replacement tranny. Also needs 4 new tires – please include those in a quote. Thank you. Carol Hartog       This is to confirm your appointment for: Jan 3 2011 8:00AM     Wait or Drop Off: I will leave my vehicle.   Location:    Tires Plus Store 3130 Merle Hay Rd Des Moines, IA 50310-1235   After receiving this confirmation, should your appointment need to be rescheduled or cancelled, please notify us by replying to this email or phoning the store directly at (515) 253-9431 .Thank you, Tires Plus Total Car Care          Original Submission    The individual below has submitted an Online Appointment request:    Carol Hartog 1127 11th Street West Des Moines, IA 50265 Daytime phone:(515) 480-4190 Evening phone: Cell phone: Email Address:hartogcarol@yahoo.com     Vehicle Information:    2001 Saturn L100 Approximate Mileage:90000   Service Information:    Tire Replacement Maintenance Comments: Ive got a 2001 Saturn thats having major transmission problems, and need a quote on a replacement tranny. Also needs 4 new tires – please include those in a quote. Thank you. Carol Hartog     Store Information:    Tires Plus Store 3130 Merle Hay Rd Des Moines, IA 50310-1235 (515) 253-9431

Response received (phone): Friday 9:26am

Darryl: “(Indecipherable at the beginning – I think he said “This is Darryl from Tires Plus on Merle Hay Road. Is this Carol?” I say “yes,” hoping he didn’t just ask me if he can borrow my toothbrush.) ”We’ll see you Monday at 8am when you drop off your Saturn.” (Okay.) “We’ll talk about tire options, and take a look at your transmission when you bring it in.” (Okay.) “Thank you, sir. See you then.”

Comments: Tires Plus appears to use the same response software as Firestone. The difference with TP is that a human being called me back, and that makes all the difference. Darryl sped through his greeting, but did a nice job of cutting to the chase and getting me in the shop, without trying to diagnose or price or anything else. I love the way he handled the call – until he called me “sir” at the end. Ouch. You know my name, so make sure you use it throughout the conversation.

Tires Plus

3701 East 14th, Des Moines

Request submitted: Friday 8:35am

Response received (automated email): Friday 10:42am

Online Schedule Confirmation
Dear Carol Hartog, Thank you for choosing Tires Plus Total Car Care by Tires Plus’s Online Appointment Center Site to schedule an appointment for your 2001 Saturn L100, Default for the following services:   Service Information:    Tire Replacement Maintenance Comments: Ive got a 2001 Saturn thats having major transmission problems, and need a quote on a replacement tranny. Also needs 4 new tires – please include those in a quote. Thank you. Carol Hartog       This is to confirm your appointment for: Jan 3 2011 8:00AM     Wait or Drop Off: I will leave my vehicle.   Location:    Tires Plus Store 3701 E 14Th St Ste 100 Des Moines, IA 50313-3809   After receiving this confirmation, should your appointment need to be rescheduled or cancelled, please notify us by replying to this email or phoning the store directly at (515) 262-4303  Thank you, Tires Plus Total Car Care     Original Submission    The individual below has submitted an Online Appointment request:    Carol Hartog 1127 11th Street West Des Moines, IA 50265 Daytime phone:(515) 480-4190  Evening phone: Cell phone: Email Address:hartogcarol@yahoo.com     Vehicle Information:    2001 Saturn L100 Approximate Mileage:90000   Service Information:    Tire Replacement Maintenance Comments: Ive got a 2001 Saturn thats having major transmission problems, and need a quote on a replacement tranny. Also needs 4 new tires – please include those in a quote. Thank you. Carol Hartog     Store Information:    Tires Plus Store 3701 E 14Th St Ste 100 Des Moines, IA 50313-3809 (515) 262-4303

Response received (phone): Friday 10:50am

Gino: “Hi, this is Gino at Tires Plus. Is this Carol?” (Yes.) “You were looking for tires, sir? (Yes.) What size tire?” (205′s.) ”We’ve got only four left in that size.” (Okay.) “And I understand you need a tranny flush, sir?” (No, I wrote that I am having problems with the transmission. I describe the problem. He went away from the phone for a while, then came back.) “As far as the transmission, we don’t do transmissions. We do tranny flushes. We don’t rebuild them.” (Okay, so you can’t work on it?) “No, no! We can work on it, sir! We do something called a TVI. total vehicle inspection, we can check it out, see what’s wrong with it. But you said it’s hesitating?” (Someone in the office says something to him.) “We don’t touch transmissions at all. What do you think” (to someone in the office) The flush will make it worse. You’ll want to take it to a transmission place. We actually don’t do transmissions. We can do the new tires. When do you anticipate the vehicle being here?” (I’d scheduled it for Monday on the Tires Plus online form) “Wait a second here – checking…Monday the 3rd? Are you going to be waiting for the vehicle sir?” (I’d already answered that on the online form.) “Okay I’ve got you down for Monday, four new tires, you’re dropping it off at 8am. If you ned anything else, you let me know, okay? Thank you sir, goodbye”

Comments: I like the Tires Plus Total Car Care logo sitting on top of the automated email. I didn’t like feeling like Gino hadn’t looked at the information I’d submitted. If they’re not looking at that, what else might they not look at? Gino was polite and kind, but he seemed confused. He also called me “sir” repeatedly. Using the customer’s name knocks down the walls that exist between people who don’t know each other. And make sure you have all the details straight before you call the customer.

Overall:

Removing Westside Auto Pros from the choices of “Who did the best?”, I think Troy at Cottman Auto Care is our phone winner. He was personable, thoughtful and followed a lot of my customer service training points, without knowing who I am, or giving a rat’s patooty about what I do. Great job, Troy! The email winner is Cheryl from Karl Chevrolet. Her email was the perfect balance of caring and knowledge. Awesome job, Cheryl! And I’ll give an honorary mention to Rich at Midas, for being the only person to follow up after I missed my appointment. (That includes Westside Auto Pros.)

Perhaps I’ll mention that during next week’s WSAP training.

Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show, Saturday mornings 8-9am, on 1350, KRNT.       

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Phone: 515-480-4190